Bring back what once was mine...

‘Arfa Karim is hospitalized’ this one liner sent me into a shock.

And truly speaking at first I never thought it to be very serious because after all, Arfa was just 16. I mean, how wrong could a 16 year old’s young body go? I had no idea, at what length did it go..

Just as 4 years ago, I had no idea how serious Nema was,. This was somewhat similar situation.

As soon as the reality of Arfa’s serious ailment settled in, my mind started playing tricks on me. It was Nema all over again.

Hospital, machines, drips, beep beep and pretty eyes closed shut.

I watched in amazement as Arfa’s features turned into Nema’s.

The moment Arfa’s father started calling her to wake up, I could hear voices from my past too. Young girls crowded outside ICU, tears swimming in their eyes … and the intense look on their faces, like they were literally catching at straws.. 

I remember myself almost running up to the doctor on duty : ‘ will Nema be alright? Please say yes’

He never said yes.

My cell phone rang and I was jolted back into reality. Some random friend…

10^th May, 2008 : I remember it to be a very bright and sunny Sunday morning. I was wearing an orange shirt, i remember it all too clearly. And at 10 o’clock my cell phone had rung. Nafeesa was on the line “Jaldi aao. Nema is in hospital. She has been shot.”

I was so unable to extract meaning from those simple sentences. Shot? Has Nafeesa lost it.. I mean come on is she actually talking about Nema? OUR Nema? Our FRIEND Nema?

I rushed to the hospital and I got all the answers when I saw her. Pretty as ever, delicate and petite lying on that white bed with machines all around. “ Nema ki bachi tum ne mera Sunday kharab ker dia”

And she smiled.

One by one all of us gathered. All of us who took admission in school  together in nursery and left after completing 12th grade one year back to set out on new journeys. We had made many promises to meet again and here we were. A reunion in a hospital corridor with tear streaked faces.

10 days felt like 10 long years.. unlimited prayers were offered. Each moment but fate had something else in store for us.

We all wanted to know who would make the first bride of our batch, we never for once gave a thought to the 1^st funeral of our batch.

She was taken to PIMS but not a single effort could buy her more time.

I still remember that dark, stark night. No moon glittered in the sky that night and no stars shone. They all mourned Nema. And my scattered sisters in soul all over Abbottabad were shattered that night. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read Hanaa’s message and I couldn't believe my ears when Zainab called me. All I know is that my heart was being ripped apart. I cried as much and as hard as possible. All through the night and for many many coming nights.

Every night I wished this was a dream and every morning I realized that it wasn’t.

4 years have given us patience. We still remember Nema but with more love than sorrow.

But Arfa karim, you once again unearthed our deep wounds.

Your gold medals remind me of Nema’s distinctions and her admission in AMC.

She was to become a doctor. Doctor Nema Khattak.

Like you Arfa, she had many dreams to cherish.

And like you Arfa, Nema is going to stay in our hearts.

Alive and happy… forever!