Dearest of all Shehrzad,
I must apologize for not writing to you all these months. I have no proper excuse for it but the fact that we both lost each other in this funny place called life.
I am in my office and while preparing a useless report about some useless problem, i remembered you! Thus, this letter.
Remind me of who I was S because it feels like I have lost myself. There has been a lot of heart break and even though apparently it healed, it hasn't in real. It took away everything ; my colors, my skills, my uniqueness...
Can't you see how unattractive my words have become? This is how every inch of my being looks like ... bland , bleak and unappealing!
I have no tales of craziness to write about or any theories on how universe really works. I am a prisoner in a vacuum. There is nothing around me except a lot of grey space and even though I am not breathing, somehow I am still alive and afloat.
Do heart breaks do this to you? Reduce you to nobody? All around me people move .. and I am still.. an emptiness in my once alive eyes and silence in my once noisy self. You do remember me chatty and chirpy , right? Next time when you see me talking, look closely and you will see that I have woven a mask to hide behind ... my battered self is bruised and bleeding... like a survivor of a terrible cursed fire. Sometime I wonder, If I was the one starting this fire .. !
It is such a struggle to even think about writing, let alone all those glamorous tales embellished with exaggerated details and fancy words..
Tell me Shehrzad, will I ever be free of this ghost? Will I ever be brave enough to set a foot out of this cage that I have unwillingly imprisoned myself in? Will love ever look the same to me?
Do you know how much I lie on average now? Every time when I say ' everything is fine' !!!
Is 1 year and 5 months an ample time to piece together myself? I have tried but a lot of significant pieces are missing like my heart and my mind .. a few senses and the ability to love again. Everyday from this day, whenever I'll tell you about a crush or some random person I have met , you must not believe me entirely. I won't be completely honest with you.. There won't be another for a long long time who'd touch me and make me feel alive.
Looking forward to seeing you in lush green meadows of your beautiful town.
Yours mildly,
Maureen.
I must apologize for not writing to you all these months. I have no proper excuse for it but the fact that we both lost each other in this funny place called life.
I am in my office and while preparing a useless report about some useless problem, i remembered you! Thus, this letter.
Remind me of who I was S because it feels like I have lost myself. There has been a lot of heart break and even though apparently it healed, it hasn't in real. It took away everything ; my colors, my skills, my uniqueness...
Can't you see how unattractive my words have become? This is how every inch of my being looks like ... bland , bleak and unappealing!
I have no tales of craziness to write about or any theories on how universe really works. I am a prisoner in a vacuum. There is nothing around me except a lot of grey space and even though I am not breathing, somehow I am still alive and afloat.
Do heart breaks do this to you? Reduce you to nobody? All around me people move .. and I am still.. an emptiness in my once alive eyes and silence in my once noisy self. You do remember me chatty and chirpy , right? Next time when you see me talking, look closely and you will see that I have woven a mask to hide behind ... my battered self is bruised and bleeding... like a survivor of a terrible cursed fire. Sometime I wonder, If I was the one starting this fire .. !
It is such a struggle to even think about writing, let alone all those glamorous tales embellished with exaggerated details and fancy words..
Tell me Shehrzad, will I ever be free of this ghost? Will I ever be brave enough to set a foot out of this cage that I have unwillingly imprisoned myself in? Will love ever look the same to me?
Do you know how much I lie on average now? Every time when I say ' everything is fine' !!!
Is 1 year and 5 months an ample time to piece together myself? I have tried but a lot of significant pieces are missing like my heart and my mind .. a few senses and the ability to love again. Everyday from this day, whenever I'll tell you about a crush or some random person I have met , you must not believe me entirely. I won't be completely honest with you.. There won't be another for a long long time who'd touch me and make me feel alive.
Looking forward to seeing you in lush green meadows of your beautiful town.
Yours mildly,
Maureen.
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