26-04-2013

Yesterday was my birthday. My 24th birthday to be precise. Funny how quickly the time has passed. Like you know I am actually so grown up there is no other way except finally accepting the fact. like seriously in coming 5 , 6 years i might be using anti-aging cream.. hahaha .scary. Never in my life did i want a stop watch more!
I have left behind immaturity, silliness, loads n loads of emotions, my narrow vision, stupidity, childish behavior and God knows what.
I have started to surprise myself now with the amount of maturity , a new level of intellect, the situation analysis capabilities, the strength, the vision, the decision making power... i feel like my mother in so many ways. That little kid in me is just fading away... everyday.. and it feels like i am edging towards a newer version of me... I have to admit that i am little scared to meet her! Who knows what she'll make me do.. What if she is really uncool?
I started this blog to state about the awesome day I had yesterday with my friends. You know when I was a kid I used to see my friends blowing candles on their birthday cakes, i never got  a chance to do that. That wasnt our family tradition but i always wanted it. I guess we all want it.. Who wouldn't want to blow candles on the cake while everybody is clapping and singing the birthday song and the you get to make a wish too...
I got my wish yesterday.. I cut the cake while my friends clapped and sung .. and the weather was so good. the winds and drizzle and lightning .. It was perfect!
I had never thought for once that i'd be celebrating my 24th birthday in Islamabad. Life is too long to make early judgement.
I dont want this post to be philosophical but like i said i feel like the mature part of me is trying to take over the silly childish impulsive writer in me.. but then again, 24th birthday blow has hit me pretty hard and its too early to say anything about the damages. Once the effects wear off i might realise that nothing has changed and i survived the blow but until then...  i am a little dazed..
SHOOTS! i want to mention that how awesome yesterday was... everybody wished me... they made me feel on the top of the world and i felt like the luckiest person on the earth!
There were people i missed  a hell lot also.. my sister who was abroad, my mom, my siblings , my frnds... my Grandmother...
some called me , some couldnt... and there were some who could have called and chose not too and some shouldnt have but still did...
so i got a taste of everything:)
that's life.. it keeps throwing situations at your face, "deal with them, man!" It shouts and then what choice do you have?
Growing up is like achieving the next level in games. you have more power and your tasks are difficult too.
One time a little student of mine stated that " Ma'am I want to be of your age. You have money and you know things and you have beautiful clothes and you dont have to do homework. you can do what you like!"
It made me smile. I just couldnt tell that Its not this simple baby.

Anyway... its just that no matter how much we wish for it, time is never gonna stop. and lets face it We have switched teams from teenagers to early twenties to almost mid twenties.. we are moving on n on!
And the best we can do about it to make it a good move on.. Use our knowledge, education, skill and humanity to the best of our abilities and strive for a change... not in other people's life,or in society but in ourselves.. we are all flawed .. Let's heal ourselves!

Btw that was my birthday wish too.... " let me be healed!"

Happy birthday ! =)

Teri meri ana 13

Recap:
Moiz se milne k baad, mehru ki zindagi men bohat tabdeeli ai thi.. us ko laga jaise pehle who ‘sleeping beauty’ thi.. aur ab ik shehzade k chu lene se zinda ho gai hai.. Aj se pehle zindagi kia thi? Mehru ko yaad nhi aya k is se pehle us ki zindagi ka maqsad kia tha… balkey us ki zindagi mien tha hi kia…

Now read:
skype, facebook, viber.. shyd hi aaisa koi medium ho jiss k through moiz ka mehru k sath rabta nahi tha..Canada aa k bhi Moiz ka dil Pakistan men hi tha. Us ko mehr itni achi lagne laggi thi k din ka adha hissa us ka yeh sochtey aur yh poochtey guzar jata tha k woh kia ker rahi hai? kaisi hai? kuch chae to nahi us ko...
Apne bohat busy schedule men se bhi woh time nikalta tha kiun k us ko ehsas tha k Mehru us ki routine nahi hai balkey us ki routine k sab kamoon se ziada important hai. Sab se achi baat ussey mehru ki yeh lagti thi k ussey ehsas tha k us ki routine tough hai,, aur kabhi b us ko disturb nahi krti thi..jab us ka Moiz se baatien kerne ka dil kerta tha to us ko msges kerti thi .. email kerti thi.. skype pe chatting kerti thi likin Moiz ko force nahi kerti thi k abhi jawab b do..
" tum perh rahe hotey ho na.. to bus :)  aur waise b jab farigh hote ho to mujhse hi baatien kerte ho na"

Moiz ka Pakistan shift hone ka plan tha.. bus in 6 maheenun men us ne sab kuch wind up ker k wapis jana tha, achi si job join kerni thi , mehru se shadi kerni thi aur bus.. sarri zindagi aaram se guzarni thi.. yeh us ki zindagi ka plan tha. likin us se pehle us ko baba se baat kerni thi Mehru k barey men.. waise to ofcourse yeh ik formality hi thi likin ab ami baba ko to batana tha na . 

6 months later:

"Moiz kal mera paper hai." 
" I know sweetheart.. you will do great!"
"dont call me that!"
"call you what?"
"that S word"
"why not?"
"acha nahi lagta moiz"
"mujhe to acha lagta hai"
"yeh badtameezi hoti hai."
"what??? how come?"
"kissi ki beti ko yun kehna"
"hahahahahahaha... kissi ki beti.. kissi ki beti shouldnt have taken my breath away then!"
" mera ppr hai naa kalll...... :( :( "
" you will rock it.. you are a genius n you know it."
"u think so?"
" i can bet my life on it if u want"
"nahi :D thank you ... acha perhne do ab"
" :( "
" cry baby"
" study hard kiddo"
"ai ai captain!"

8 months later:

' Coming to Pakistan next week. Gonna talk to Baba about us. keep your fingers crossed"
Mehru ne sham k 5 bajey yeh text perha... asoolan to usey khush hona chae tha, aur woh thi b bohat khush.. likin sath sath excited bhi thi aur ik anjana sa khauf.. agar uncle ne mana ker dia to? which was absurb.. bina apa aur yousaf lala ki shadi k baad to un ki family bohat close aa gai thi.. mehru ko pre bridal attacks ho rahe they.. 
us ne abhi tak yeh baat kissi se share nahi ki thi.. siwae apni best friend meryum k.. per meryum aj kal UK gai hoi thi... mehru ko laga k Mia se usey yeh baat share krni chae.. halankey bohat imkaan tha k Mia us ko jan se maar deti k behen hone k bawajood us ko yeh baat ab bataii ja rahi thi... likin baharhaal mehru ne yeh kerna tha..

Mia kitchen men noodles bana rahi thi .. aj kal us ki dieting arooj per thi.. 
"Mia ,?"
"kia?" noodles ko bowl men nikalte huwe mia ne jawab dia.
" mene tumien ik bohat important baat batani hai." mehru ne aram se kaha.. ussey samajh nhi aa rahi thi k kaise act karey.
" batao" mia ka dhehan noodles pe tha.
" kamre men chalien?"
" nahi"
" mia plz na"
" mehru dramey na karo.. batao yaheen pe."
" ok. Moiz ne mujhe propose kia hai."
"what?" Mia ik dam zor se palti.. aur sath hi hath lagne se noodles ka bowl phisal k zameen pe aa girra..
kaanch k bowl chaknachur ho gaya aur sath jo awaz aii...likin mehr aur mia ne koi dhehan nahi tha.. 
Mia mehr ko hairat se dekh rahi thi aur Mehr.... Mehr ko koi idea nahi tha k ussey kia kerna chae ab!

                                                                                       (to be continued)

Teri meri anaa 12

Recap:
Baqi sab log najane kitne aagey nikal gaye they.
Mehru ne ankhien band keen.. woh bus moiz ka hath pakrey wahan jana chati thi jahan moiz le jata!

Now read:

Barish men bhagne se mehru k snickers,coat,baal sab geele ho gaye.. Hut k neeche aa k mehru ne apna coat jharra.. per jitna geela hona tha , wo chuka tha.. sardi ik dam barh gai thi, itni k mehru k nakhun neele ho gaye.. dono hathun ko apas men rgar ragar k mehru garam kerne ki koshish ker rahi thi.. Abi mehru koi aur tareeqa sochne wali thi k ik dam Moiz ne us k dono hathun ko apne hathun se dhanp lia.. Mehru ne heeran ho k us ko dekha..

" mere hath hameesha garam rehte hain na " Moiz ne us ko muskurati nazroon se dekhte huwe kaha,

Mehru ko samajh nhi aai kaise react karey.. Us ka dil itni zor se dharak raha tha jaise  abhi seene se bahir nikal aye ga.. sharam b aa rahi thi, yeh b lag ra tha jaise yeh ghalat hai likin phir b us ko laga k woh kabhi Moiz k hath se apna hath chura nahi paye g. Moiz sahi keh ra tha k us k haath garam they.. aur bohat ajeeb sa ehsaas de rahe they ussey.. tafuz ka, mohabbat ka, yaqeen ka...

Itni khamooshi thi un dono k darmiyaan k lagta tha jaise har cheex sans rokey khari hai… barish ki awaz saaz ki tarhan aa rahi thi.. ik rhythm mien,… tap tap tap….

“Shoots!” ik dam hi Moiz ne us k hath chor diye aur peeche mur k kuch talash kerne laga.. aur phir ik dam palaat k bahir lagey ik barey se darakht ki taraf challa gaya.. Mehru confused si us ko dekh rahi thi “yeh kerne kia cha ra hai?”

Moiz ne darakht se ik patta toraa aur wapis Mehru k pass aa k khara ho gaya.. mehru intezar ker rahi thi k moiz kuch bole ga.. yeh kia harqat hai ?

Likin Moiz kuch nahi bola.. kuch dair khara mehru ko aur pattey ko dekhta raha aur phir dono ghuthnun k baal baith gaya aur who haraa patta mehru ki taraf berhatey huwe bola  : “ bohat silly hai.. per marry me mehru”

“ What!??” yeh sab.. yun.. itni achanak.. aur achanak kia.. moiz is proposing!! Mehru ka mun khuley ka khula reh gaya..

“ m not asking you mehru, m begging you girl!” Aur Moiz ki ankhien.. ik intezar ka jahan tha us ki ankhoon mien aur bachun jaisi excitement,

Mehr ne seene men atki hoi sans li… us ka damagh samajh nhi paa rat ha.. yeh sab sach to nahi tha..

Koi khuwab tha kia.. per us ki ankh kiun nahi khul rahi thi…

Aur phir us ne Moiz k hath se who harraa pata le lia aur us ne khud kehte huwe suna

“ I’d love to!”

“Ah ha!!” us ka jawab suntey hi Moiz ik dam khara ho gaya… aur zor se hansa.. :” Thank you mehru.. thank you!” Pure American accent k sath who Mehru se izhar e mohabbat ker ra tha.. us ko bilkul andaza nahi tha k adhi batien Mehru k sar k upper se  guzar rahi hain..

“ I don’t know when I just fell completely in love with you. I never meant to , I swear but that just happened and Boy! Aint I glad? Haha.. U know I had no idea, this tour is going to change my world this much.  I never intended to fall In love.. I thought I was too practical for that and look at me now! M proposing the silliest girl on the planet in the most awkward way imaginable. I wish I could do it in a more sophisticated manner. Take you out to dinner or something but this is very interesting too.. “

  Mehru ki angraizi aur confidence to bus us ik jumle k sath khatam ho gaya tha is liye who sirf chup chap Moiz ko sun rahi thi..

Yeh Moiz Azam tha. Us ka Yale se perha huwa cousin jiss k barey men sab ko lagta tha k who bht sakht mizaj hai. Bohat attitude wala hai. Khud ko kuch samajhta hai…

“I will make sure you stay happy with me,.. I mean I promise”

Mehru muskura di..

Aur phr jab tak barish nhi rukki aur who log track complete ker k upper nahi challey gaye Mehru , moiz ko sunti rahi.. Shukar hai us ka josh thora thanda perh gaya tha.. aur who normal baatien ker raha tha.. Mehru b aam se andaz men jawab de rahi thi.. who nhi chati thi k kissi ko zara sa b shak ho k huwa kia hai…

Aur who is sab mien kamyaab b ho gaye they..

Who din mehru k liye bohat khas tha, be inteha ahem.. shyd us ki zindagi men aney wale sab dinoon mien sab se ziada khushi wala.. sab se ziada unexpected khushi wala.. Mehru ko lag raha tha k us k qadam zameen pe hi per rahe .. wo waqai badaloon mien thi.. Cloud no. 9!

Agle din Moiz ki flight thi.. Zindagi mien pehli dafa mehru ne poori raat rootey huwe guzari thi..

Who harra pata mehru ne apni diary men saja rakha tha..

Log rings aur pholoon ko zarya banatey they , mehru k liye who patta Moiz k pyar ki nishani tha… bohat hi aam c cheex, jis ko Moiz k jazbaat ne, us ki mohabbat ne , us k ehsas ne anmol ker dia tha.. mehru ki tarhan..

Moiz se milne k baad, mehru ki zindagi men bohat tabdeeli ai thi.. us ko laga jaise pehle who ‘sleeping beauty’ thi.. aur ab ik shehzade k chu lene se zinda ho gai hai.. Aj se pehle zindagi kia thi? Mehru ko yaad nhi aya k is se pehle us ki zindagi ka maqsad kia tha… balkey us ki zindagi mien tha hi kia…

Teri meri anaa 11

RECAP:
mehru ne jaldi se ansoo ponchey aur kitchen k darwaze ki taraf barh gai.

andar dakhil hone se pehle us se murr k dekha to moiz abhi tak waheen khara us ko muskurati nazroon se dekh ra tha. 

mehru ko laga jaise 1000 watt ka bulb achanak 2000 watt ka ho gaya hai... 

Now Read:

Shadi kab khatam hoi aur kab woh log wapis aye, Mehru ko waqt guzarne ka pata hi nah chala. Ik hafte men Moiz us k liye bohat ahem ho gaya tha.

Bina appa bohat sweet theen. Although Mehru ne suna tha k woh Moiz ki step sister theen likin us ko aaisa kuch mehsus nahi huwa. Mehru ne ik dafa hi yeh baat ami se confirm kerne ki koshish ki thi aur jawabaan jin nazroon se ami ne us ko ghoora tha, wo mehru ko samjhane k liye kafi theen. 

waise b iss shadi k dauran sab log bohat qareeb aa gaye they. kabhi kabhi to mehr ko lagta tha jaise un k darmiyaan doriyan theen hi nahi. everything was almost perfect.

Moiz ki flyt 10 March ko thi. Us k jane se pehle,sab ne us ko farewell lunch dene ka faisla kia. Moiz ko Monal bohat pasand tha. Akhir men faisla yeh huwa k woh through track walk ker k Monal tak jaen gey. 

Us din subha se hi Islamabad ka mausam abar alood tha. likin kissi ka plan multavi kerne ka koi irada nahi tha. Track k shuru tak barish k imkanat zara kam hi they, unhien umeed thi k Monal tak to bakheriyat pohanch hi jaen gey.Mehru ko woh track bohat pasand tha. Khamoosh aur pursakoon. ird gird oonche oonche pahar aur gehre sabz pattun se dhakkey darakht. is sab k beech men jab kissi parinde ki awaz khamooshi ko torti to insan ka qudrat ki sa'nai per eman pukhta ho jata. Aram aram se chalte huwe Mehru apne ird gird men magaan thi. Us lamhe men ussey apne har ehsas ka poori tarhan se ehsas ho ra tha. bedhehani men woh moiz ko sochte huwe muskura rahi thi. 

"Agar woh aaisa chahe to bhalla kia rukawat hai. sab khush hoon gey. bohat khush hoon gey. mien sab se ziada khush hoon g." 

'MEHRUUUUU...taiz chalo na" hassan ki taiz awaz ne us ko chonkaya. 

"Hassan, i know this track. men aram se aa rahi hun na."

bachpan se woh log beshumar dafa is track per aa chukey they.. Monal nahi tha phir b Baba log yahan picnic key liye latey they.  

Abhi woh dobara apni sochun men magaan hone hi laggi thi k us ne Moiz ko apni taraf atey dekha. 
"kiun aaista chal rahi ho?" 
" bus aaise hi." us ne muskura k Moiz ko dekha. Dil to chaha k bata dey k kia kia soch rahi thi per thori bohat haya jo thi woh arey aa gai.
" chalo men b tumare sath aaista chalta hun." moiz ne dono hath apni jeans ki pocket men daale aur mehru k sath sath chalne laga.
blue jeans k sath dark blue sweater aur leather jacket men woh bohat handsome lag ra tha. Us k complexion k sath halki halki barhi hoi shave kitni suit ker rahi thi , shyd us ko khud b andaxa nahi tha. 
Mohabbat kitni ajeeb cheez hai. sari zindagi is track per chalte hue mehru ko kabhi yeh sab itna khas nahi laga. aj, iss lamhe men to is ki khubsurati men ik ajeeb nikhar aa gaya tha. har cheex nai lag rahi thi. rang, hawa, mausam... mehru ko laga jaise woh bus abhi pehle dafa hi yahan aai hai. Moiz ko bhi andaza nahi ho sakta tha k sirf ik us ka sath mehru ko kitni khushi dene laga tha. sirf us ka naam, us k hona, us ka mehru ko janna, un dono k be maani gugtagoo, aur yeh ehsas k moiz us ko sochta hai... 
Sath sath chalte huwe b dono khamoosh they. Kabhi koi waqt aaisa ata hai jab alfaz itne zarurai nahi hotey, khamooshi ziada qeemti hoti hai, woh bolti hai, wohi sunti hai.. insaan ka kaam bus wahan mojood hona hota hai.
"Mehru...?" moiz ne sawaliya andaaz men poocha.
"ji?" 
iss se pehle k moiz apni mukamal kerta ... tap tap tap... barish k motey motey qatrey asmaan se girne laggey. ik k baad... aur har second k sath taiz taiz taiz ..
"bhagoo......" moiz ne mehru ka hath aur track per bhagne laga.. barish k sath hawa chalne laggi to mausam ik dam bohat thanda ho gaya.. Kaley badaloon ne poora asmaan yun dhanp lia k din men b andhera ho gaya.. 
thori durr track ki side pe ik hut bana huwa tha... 
Baqi sab log najane kitne aagey nikal gaye they.
Mehru ne ankhien band keen.. woh bus moiz ka hath pakrey wahan jana chati thi jahan moiz le jata!