Maureen (As received)

It was the last letter I received from Maureen, sobbing in tears as I read every word of it. Knowing till this day she plead for a closure.
It took me a lot of courage to decide what should I do?
Should I give her what she has been asking all these years? A mere conclusion to her love? Or should I just let her pass these remaining years with same agony?
I couldn't sleep all night as a heavy burden on my chest which I have carried since 93. I had convinced myself its ended its over but her letter which I received after 2 years of gap, just says it all. It's never an end to love....
Twisting and turning in bed, I made a decision...
Next morning I woke up, got my self ready and left to see Mareen. All my journey I was nervous, a strange feeling grips my very being. I was scared to see her and reveal the truth on her. I reached my destination, my every step to her door felt so heavy.
I knocked, a young lad came up to the door, gentleman with his personality he asked politely.
Can I help you sir?
I couldn't even utter her name, ummm,ummm
Can I meet Maureen?
Are you friends of her?
Yeah, yeah....
He invited me inside and sat me down, offering a cup of tea, he shouted mom somebody is here to see you.
It was that very moment I thought I will have a heart attack,all these questions rushed in my mind.
How can I face her..
How can I tell her the truth...
How can I do that to her....
A few minutes, she walked in, I was spell bound to see her...
Sorry I don't remember you? She asked
I stood up and said yeah
U don't know me, I am your sailor's younger brother Joseph.
There was silence..
A silence which I had never witness in my 40 years of hard wrenched life.
She sat down in front of me, with tears sliding down her cheeks.
She murmured "is he alive"?
I couldn't look her in the eye, I felt guilty.
No, he is not, I'm afraid but I'm here to tell you something u should know all these years.
My big brother Adam, was the sweetest and most kind hearted person I ever knew. He was my father, my mother, my everything. I loved him more than I can love anyone.
I received you letter yesterday and I couldn't bear the burden anymore, I have to tell you his side of story for your peace and peace to his soul.
Maureen, my brother loved you, he loved you more than me. You were family to him, sometimes I used to get jealous of you, cause he would always jabber about you and your beauty and today I know, why he was so head over heals in love with you.

Maureen, I'm really sorry and I'm even more sorry for what I'm going to tell you next.

My brother never went on any voyage, the day he left you. A week before you held his hand for the last time, he was sleeping and woke up with a severe pain. I had to take him to the hospital. After three days of repeated test, doctors diagnosed him with stage 3 stomach cancer. In blink of an eye, his life fell apart,dreams shattered. Time stopped as I hug him and we cried and cried.

I remember we came back home and he went to the dressing, opened the drawer and pulled out a ring.
Joseph, do u like it?
I said, it's beautiful.
I was going to propose her on Saturday, I had planned everything, decorations, flowers, venue everything,Joseph. But I guess, God has some other plans for me....
I can't do this to her, you know, I love her so much that I cannot drag her down with me to this pain and agonising end, which I'm destined too.

So, he decided that he will let you go. The reason he didn't say anything cause he knew if he explained, you will question him and that will break him down to tears and he will spill the truth. He never wanted to end this way Maureen.

He read all your letters over and over and over again. Now there is no writing left on them, cause he used to cry on every word that it erased every letter u put down. He was a very loving soul, once in a while he will send me to your neighbourhood to see if you are doing ok.
When I told him you have moved on and gotten married, it gave him so much peace. I guess he was hanging on to life just to see you smile once again.

He never got to see your last letter otherwise he would have cried and gotten his pain even worse. He passed away 2 years ago, after fighting really hard for his life.
In his last days, he used to tell me, all the good times he spent with you and how your presence made him feel. Every emotion that you 2 shared, he told me everything.
Sometimes I couldn't handle and used to cry with him. In that very moment he used to smile and wipe my tears and say to me
Joseph "live as if there is no tomorrow".

He took promise from me to never tell you, why he left?..

But I couldn't bare it any more and when I receive your letter I felt both of your souls needed the peace.

I got up and sat next to Maureen, she was silent, shocked, no tears came out of her eyes. Just silent...
I held her in my arms, I am sorry Maureen, I'm really sorry....

She started crying, screaming in pain..

How can he do this to me?
How......

She cried for an hour and then asked me to take her to his grave.

She got ready in hurry and we both left to seek our peace.

Big brother may you soul rest in peace....