Being a girl...

Being a girl .. at first, it meant nothing to me.. nothing at all... but then for the most part if i re-call correctly, i hated it..
every moment of it.. because since the very beginning i had understood that being a girl and being normal are two different things. i know many people will disagree to me here but i am talking about myself only.. for me, it was not normal!
being a girl meant following loads n loads of customs, values and strict rules. it meant no freedom, it meant restrictions and i hated it even more when i saw my brothers not having to worry about how to walk, what to say, pitch of the sound, dress, going out, playing n blah blah...
but with each passing day, i came out of that gloominess .. i started to see the positive side of it.. the respect, the privilege, the special care.. the lady thing...
and i love being a girl now... i enjoy being a lady..
i like it a lot when gentlemen show courtesy to me.. hold open the doors in university, in banks, in shopping malls..
i like they way they call me 'ma'am please'
i like the way they let me buy things first in a shop.
i like the way they give me space.
i like the way, people show respect in public places..
i still like it but my likeness has overcome by fear...
i watch out my back now... i look round the corners.. i see for unfamiliarity and cruelty on every face that passes me..
i double check the  cab i take and the bus i ride...
i fear for my life.. i dont want to b a victim of brutality of a bunch of lunatics who are fearless... who run free, who do what they want.. who rape and kill and get to b alive...
who live without pain while i die of bruises and broken bones
who wait for the justice while i fight for my life in a hospital bed
who are still on the run when i die the most painful ever imaginable...

i dont want to be that indian girl..
and u know why i watch my back in my country? because its not about India, its about being a girl!
i fear the world because i know being a girl is not normal!