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ایمل ، حسن، مبین اور ان سب پیارے بچوں کے نام جن کا  قرض ھم پہ واجب ہے

دیکھو جنگ کا موسم یے

چلو اب جنگ کرتے ہیں

بات قلم کی حد کو توڑ کے

تلواروں تک ہے جا پہنچی

چلو اب تلوار اٹھاتے ہیں

کچھ معصوم بچوں نے، لہو کا قرض دیا ہے

اپنے بوجھل ضمیروں سے چلو یہ قرض مٹاتے ہیں

بہت اندھیری سی راتیں ہیں، افق پہ تارے جو ڈوبے ہیں

ان تاروں کی یاد میں چلو شمعیں جلاتے ہیں

یہ بے مہر صبحیں، یہ بے درد سے درد

ان ناسور سے زخموں پہ چلو مرہم لگاتے ہیں

بہت دے چکے لہو بے کسی کی حالت میں

چلو اب ہوش میں آ کر کچھ لہو بہاتے ہیں

بہت بھاری ہو چکی ہیں ظلم کی زنجیریں

چلو رہائی کی جانب قدم بڑھاتے ہیں

ہاتھ تو یوں بھی خالی ہو چکے سب کے

اک دوسرے کے وجود سے چلو تنہائی مٹاتے ہیں

مصلحتوں کی دکانوں پہ بکتے ان مشوروں سے

چلو دامن چھڑاتے ہیں

کچھ بے خوف سے فیصلے جو منتظر کب سے ہیں

چلو ان فیصلوں کا انتظار مٹاتے ہیں

خود سے مبرا ہو کے سوچتے ہیں ان نسلوں کا، جنہں ابھی دنیا میں آنا یے

ان کی آمد سے قبل چلو امن کا بیج بوتے ہیں

چلو جنگ کی موسم میں اب ہتھیار اٹھاتے ہیں

دشمن کے ہاتھوں زک آخری بار اٹھاتے ہیں

دیکھو جنگ کا موسم یے ۔ ۔ ۔

فیض، آپ بھی کمال کرتے ہیں

جب میں اسے یہ کہتے ہوئے سنتی ہوں :  

 قفس اداس ھے یارو صبا سے کچھ تو

، اس لمحے میرا جی چاہتا یے کی میں پھوٹ پھوٹ کے رو دوں۔ ۔

 میں فیض سے ملنا چاہتی ہوں، ان کے قدموں میں بیٹھ کہ، ان کا ہاتھ تھام کے ان سے پوچھنا چاہتی ہوں : آپ کو کیسے معلوم ہوا کہ کبھی اس دنیا میں اک زینب ہو گی ؟ آپ نے مجھ سے پہلے میرے درد کو کیسے لکھ دیا؟ وہ تمام الفاظ جو میری روح پہ رقم ہیں، آپ کے قلم تک کیسے اُیے۔ ۔ کیا خدا نے آپ کو وحی میں خبر دی تھی؟

اگر وہ ہوتے اور میں ان کے قدموں میں بیٹھ کے ان سے یہ سوال کرتی تو شاید وہ جوابا‘‘ مسکرا دیتے میری بات سن کے ۔ ۔ اور خاموش رہتے تو میں کچھ دیر بعد اپنے آنسو پونچھ لیتی اور ہلکی سی مسکراہٹ کے ساتھ ان کو دیکھ کے کہتی ’’ فیض، آپ بھی کمال کرتے ہیں !!’’

Gone for good.

She let out a sigh.. a breath she had been holding for so long.. and slowly her eyes adjusted to the light.. it felt like years since these eyes had stared at things in bright light, and prudently she moved her muscles, arms legs hands.. one by one.. it felt good..to move, to shift … how long had it been? She tried to recall but her mind was blank.. a day? A week ? a month? She had no idea what day was it or which month .. she sat straight and tried to guess if it was morning or noon but the heavy curtains were blocking the outside view. She got up and opened the curtain.. sunlight busted in … the rays hit her and she felt the warmth like never before.. she took it for granted for years but not any more.. she was going to worship everything from now onwards.. she remembered the time when she had it all and when she lost it .. she blocked the painful memories, although it was too much effort but she had to try.. she had to master this ability to block , to build walls..

Because she missed him.. she missed everything about him.. he was painfully handsome to her.. her insides ached when she looked at him, it was like magic.. she was a part of him.. she knew it… she felt like a jigsaw puzzle, completing him…  and now he was gone..  her other half, the better one.. she looked at her empty bedside and felt fresh tears welling up in her eyes. The room smelled of him. She smelled of him.. how will she ever get over this? He was everywhere and nowhere when she wanted to touch him.. no answer when she called his name..

His name.. so beautiful.. the sweetness of it, you could taste it in your mouth.. she felt sexier just saying his name. it had that kind of effect. And the joy it brought… not he, not his touch but  his name.. it was unexplainable.. and now it was over, in a blink if an eye. Like it was never there..

For some brief moments, she even wondered.. was he for real? Or was it just a dream? An illusion? Maybe she was very sick and it was all in her mind. She had heard of such psychological disorders, but then with a flash came back all the long walks on the beach, and rains they had enjoyed and with that she tasted his lips and knew that it was anything but a dream. He really was in her life. He had enjoyed her and quietly he had left. As if it was his decision alone, as  if she didn’t matter.

standing in the window , she felt a surge of hatred towards him. He was a selfish bastard, who thought about himself only, always! He had a charming way of twisting things according to his will, he had the art of molding people. She recalled how she was unmoved by him the first couple of times they had met. May be this had triggered his male ego. May be this was why he had progressed towards her , to see why his charisma hadn’t worked on her, why didn’t she fall on her knees the first time she saw her. He was so curious to know this that he had actually fallen on his knees!

With wit and humor, manners and intelligence he played her.. and before she realized , she was charmed. Absolutely spell bound by him.

‘FUCK YOU’ she muttered under her breath.  She had said it earlier, louder. But she knew he wasn’t here to listen and he won’t be, unless she finds him and tell him that in person. She decided that she will. She will find him and she will tell him. 

But she never did.. Day after day when she woke up, she realized that her hatred towards him was fading away despite all what he did. She didnt pursue it either she wanted to explore the new dimension of her soul. Finally the sun rose in the sky to shine in the day which looked so ordinary but had something for her.

"OMG, look at the yellow Autumn leaves.. Beautiful!" She excitedly pointed it out to her sister who looked at it and shrugged."But its going to fall and die." 

She knew that but how could she ignore the beauty of something that was right in front of her eyes. She stood there, under the big tree admiring the beautiful yellow color of the Autumn leaves. Her sister had moved ahead but stopped, looked back at her and said "Love them all you want but they are destined to die. So better not waste yourself over something that cant live long enough to appreciate your admiration, least of all."

and that was the moment she understood. He was destined to leave because she was beyond his capacity. He was shallow and she was a raging outburst of emotions.. no match and that;s when she discovered that he held no place in he heart. He was gone for good :)

Tatiana

It was actually the light in her eyes that went out which threw the world into deeper darkness and made the sky shower more tears than it originally intended. It was her heartbreak that the world heard as thunder… such immense was her heartbreak and the lightning bolt? It was the shock that shook her whole self… such was the catastrophe that hit her. Surprisingly she stood on her feet, rooted to the ground and people around her were blind towards her which was not entirely their fault. There was an earthquake inside her.  Her world came crumbling down in a matter of seconds and yet she lived and worse ... laughed!

‘How do you do that Tatiana?’ She asked herself once she was alone in her room, away from everyone. ‘it’s killing me.. Oh Lord, its killing me!’ she replied.. crying hard.. so hard that her whole body shook and her heart.. it seemed like it would burst within her chest  for the pain was too much and she had a fragile heart..

If you knew Tatiana, probably you would cry too. She seemed so knock out hard and arrogant at first but once you looked closely she was, well delicate… have you ever seen an oyster? Tatiana was an oyster… if you succeed in cracking her open, you would find a pearl inside.  Always!  That tiny sparkling pearl was her soul.

She made me realize that the world is more than people crowding together, stepping on each other to move ahead, making money and getting richer than before every day. She made me see the world with novice eyes and now that I have seen it, I realize how unfortunate it is for Tatiana to actually live here. She was created with love… while all the people had histone protein wrapped around their DNA, she had strands of love that completed her chemistry.  What a pity!

She was everything but lucky, I must say.  All around her, she would try to pass on good but people had nothing good to exchange with her. They gave her , their bad.. and she gave them, her good..

‘why do you do this?” angry at the world, she asked herself. 

“I don’t know any other way of living. “ She stated rather helplessly.

She had met the wrong sorts all her life but there was one particular person who was the last nail in the coffin.  From the moment she met her till the time when he broke her heart, Tatiana felt him like she hadn’t felt anyone before. She seemed to hold his hand telepathically. It was magic to her and she made that very ordinary person so special. I often thought that he is one hell of a lucky guy to get all this from Tatiana.  Sitting outside a coffee shop in the Milan, Tatiana was talking about that stranger.

“ Do you know what colour are his eyes?”

I didn’t know of course so I shook my head in no.

‘See that golden sun rays that are coming out from behind that dense white cloud in sky?  His eyes shine like that… ‘

I laughed ‘Really Tatiana? Tell me more.”

She smiled at me and said in her thick French accent “You don’t believe me, do you?”

“He is the song of phoenix. Have you ever heard a phoenix sing?” she asked me.

“No and phoenix don’t exist “

“I used to think the same until I met him. All the magic in the books exists…  The fairy tales are not just stories… they happen… just like he happened. He came right out of a fairytale.”  She smiled faintly and then frowned a little “And by the way phoenixes exist and they sing too. “

Her version of love was so different, so bookish. She looked like a book character at that moment that had accidently stepped into our world. “Alice in wonderland”

This happened several months ago. I lost contact with her and then last week, I called her but there was no answer. I tried her office.

“Tatiana? Yea she left.”

“where? When is she coming back?”

“sorry .no idea”

And just now, before I started writing this, the door bell rang.  I don’t remember exactly when the last time I had received a letter was.  But of course if Tatiana wanted to get in touch, she wouldn't choose any other way than letter.

“See I was right. He was straight out a fairy tale. He was the big bad wolf and I was the red riding hood."

I don’t know where she went. There wass no address on the envelope.  I had this empty feeling settling in my stomach. Her pretty face flashed in front of my eyes and felt a sting my eyes and inside my head, I said : “Here goes one more Tatiana!”