Hide and seek.

"Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a gigantic swirl of a tornado and it's going round and round?The motion is so fast and painful and even when your whole body is screaming and begging it to stop, its not stopping, because its a tornado and tornadoes don't listen!!"

Contrary to her words, it was peaceful everywhere. The grayish sky with a tinge of pinkish glow, the sound of birds returning home, rustling of leaves whenever a little wind blew... definitely peaceful.!
The air was chilly , but the blue cardigan and hot  mug of tea was making up for the cold.
While writing her diary, she wasn't crying, wasn't even complaining. She was merely stating the fact. The current condition of her, which was so obviously hidden and sounded like an apologetic lie whenever she voiced it to the people who she thought might care.
They did though. They were good people but she wanted more. Something fulfilling, something thrist quenching... For some parts of the day, her desperation was so overwhelming that her whole self almost seemed to succumb to it. She wanted to flush out all the responsibilities and just be herself.
She, the way she was.. The no-strings-attached she!

"Too long the life has played. Ain't it my turn yet? but do I have it in me to play, if i get a chance? I want the life to be with me on the same team. Enough of the hide and seek now. " She put her blue fountain pen down on the book , rested her head on the high back of her favorite sofa and closed her eyes.


Oh boy, did the fate had a good laugh over this !

 " You poor poor soul ... " the fate nodded its head and whispered. "Its only the beginning. The good part is yet to come..... "

At the same moment, she felt a pang in her heart. She opened her eyes instantly and looked around. Everything seemes as normal as 5 seconds ago.
"What was this then?" she wondered! "What's fate upto now!?" she thought bitterly.

"A lot!!" Fate grinned, 

The liquid Life.

In the dead silence of the room, the only sound was the faint dripping. He lay there motionless, focusing on the red trail of liquid life.

His presence at the hospital was accidental; a mischief of the fate. Looking closely at the bag that was slowly filling up, he murmured softly: Blood.

Blood; that is an oxygen circulating fluid that. Cell to cell it delivers nutrients and oxygen, giving away the gift of life. With RBCs , that carry oxygen, WBCs to fight infections and Plasma to help clotting, it is a fascinating liquid that travels silently through our veins each second of the day and yet goes unnoticed, most of the time taken for granted.

“Blood is the Santa Claus of cells.” His nanny had told her.

How many of us consider sending a silent prayer any time in the day for the flow of bloodin our bodies? Healthy blood !!

 Imagine for a moment that the blood stops cold in your body, for a minute only. Oh you couldn’t imagine that, could you? Most probably because you were dead.

But not him. He had known the importance of blood from the moment his conscious had started to work. He lost his mother to it. He learnt that he was an orphan in a very early stage of his life. The time other children spent in playing, he used to sit and wonder how his life would be different if his mother were still alive.

“How did she die?” he asked his nanny. He was 5 at that time.

“well, baby… the doctors couldn’t find blood for her.”

“why?” he asked in amazement. “there is so much blood in the world. Everyone has it. Why didn’t they give it to my mommy?”

“Oh poor baby” His nanny hugged him tight because she couldn’t think of any answer.

When he turned 18, he found that he had a passion for engineering but an obsession with blood. He didn’t want to be a doctor but he wanted to associate himself with giving relief to people. Every day he saw hundreds of people walking in and out of the hospital with a million problems.

It was definitely a mischief of the fate. He was walking past the busy street across the hospital when a boy , his own age, rushed towards him and asked “Are you O+?”  For a moment, he was blank and then he spluttered out “Yes. But why…” He couldn’t finish his sentence because of the overwhelming response. That was the first time he ever donated blood.

It had been 5 years since then. He found the way to contribute to saving lives without being a doctor. He had found the way to connect to other people and touch their lives in a beautiful unorthodox way. The WHO slogan “paint the world red” became the tagline of his life. He indulged into social cause and made it his life’s mission to motivate and encourage people to donate healthy blood after learning that 800 mothers around the globe die in pregnancy, childbirth or following childbirth with 99 percent in developing countries. Severe blood loss accounts for 31 percent of mothers' deaths in Asia. (WHO Report)

He never wanted another child to be raised motherless. One time, a young man came to him whose wife he had given blood to and said “Brother, thank you for saving my life.”

He replied with a smile. “I saved my own!” and echoes through his ears, the divine voice:

“Because of that, We decreed upon the Children of Israel that whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption [done] in the land - it is as if he had slain mankind entirely. And whoever saves one - it is as if he had saved mankind entirely. And our messengers had certainly come to them with clear proofs. Then indeed many of them, [even] after that, throughout the land, were transgressors.”  (Surah Al Maida. Verse:5:32)

On this World Donor’s Day, let’s make a vow to donate healthy blood to the people in need and become related to the people not by culture or religion but by blood!!

Tasweer aur Manzar

Ajeeb fitrat hai hum insanoon ki.. na qadri ..
Najane saari zindagi kia dhondte rehte hain? Kissi afsane k saach hone ka khuwab dekhte hain, kiss anhoni key liye betab rehte hain. 'Mohabbat' kerna chahte hain magar saari umer kissi ishare k intezar men ganwa dete hain.
Yun lagta hai jaise hum har cheez ko bohat qareeb se dekhtey hain. Itna ky hamari nazar men bus wo ik cheez, chahe kitni hi choti kiun na ho, sama jati hai.
Ik gehri saans ley key, 2 qadam peeche hatt k manzar ko dekhne ki koshish karuen to shayd jan paaen ky manzar men hamari soch se ziada vusat hai..

Gulab k phool ki talash men umer ganwae wala , kabhi yeh dekh ley k wo kanwal k phooloon se bhare talaab men zindagi guzar raha tha to apni bewakoofi pe khud ko jee bhar k kosey.

Sehra men rehne wale ko samnadar ki hirs men ,nakhlistan nahi chorna chaeye.
Jungle mien chalne waloon ko abshar se mohabbat ka saleeqa hona chae, na ky seedhi rah ki talash.
Baraf Posh paharoon pe baseera kerne waloon ko allaao ki qadar kerni chae, na ky sahil ki tamana.


Mujhe nahi maloom ky men shera men hun ya kissi barf posh pahar pey likin yeh to tey hai k men zindagi men un cheexun k peeche bhag rahi thi jo meri rah men rakhi hi nahi gaen. mien kissi aur ki zindagi pe nazrien jama ky apna safar teh ker rahi thi..
Najane kitne kanwal, gulab ki havs men nazar andaz ker aii hun.
Najane kitne allaao roshan they , jin ki hidat ko sahil ki talash men, mene mehsus hi nahi kia.

Ab men rukna chahti hun, thehrna chahti hun..
Ik gehri sans le k , apni jaga se 2 qadam peeche hatna chahti hun . ..
Men tasweer ko nahi, porey manzir ko dekhna chahti hun...  

You will ..

deep, dark, angry, hurt
words that describe me the best
every time i respond, i do it with curt
one slip and i might fail another test...

it sounds so sensible inside my head
all my wisdom, all my words
shut up already , will you? they say
and drown them in shame by the herds

is it still me? i wonder
disheveled and pushed against the wall
through the time,, and again , i ponder
i walked once, and now i crawl

stop, breath!!
listen to the rhythm of your heart
wait for some time, my dear one
it will come to you.. a fresh , new start!

smile through the misery
let the light slay the dark
its soon that you will
find the lost glory, find the lost spark!

تم ناراض ہو!

  تمھاری کالی آنکھوں میں آنسو یوں دکھتا ہے جیسےکالے آسمان پہ چمکتا قطب ستارہ ۔۔ 
اور اگر تم ان آنسووٗں بھری آنکھوں سے کسی کو دیکھ لو تو اس طلسم کے توڑ میں 
  اسکی زندگی بیت جائے مگرمکمل اثر زائل نہ ہو۔ 
تمھارےچہرے پہ پھیلی اداسی ایبٹ آباد کی یاد دلاتی ہے جہاں ایک پل کو دھوپ ہوتی ہے اور اگلے ہی لمحےکالی گھٹا یوں سورج کو ڈھانپ لیتی ہے کہ اندر تک اداسی چھا جاتی ہے۔ تمھاری اداسی بھی میرے اندر تک چھا جاتی ہے۔ 
روٹھتی ہو تو یوں لگتا ہے جیسے اب کبھی نہ مانو گی۔ شکایتی نظروں سے دیکھتی ہو تو دنیا بھول کر انسان بس اک نگاہ کا ہو کر رہجاتا ہے۔
یوں تو تمھاری ناراضگی چند پھولوں کے آگے دو پل میں دم توڑ جاتی ہے مگر وہ دو پل بھی صدیوں پہ محیط ہوتےہیں۔ 
سنو تم ناراض نہ ہوا کرو۔ وقت، موسم، محبت، زندگی سب ادھورے لگنے لگتے ہیں۔ 
کبھی کہہ کر تو دیکھو، تمھاری مسکراہٹ کے لیے دشت و صحرا کی خاک چھاننا بھی قبول ہے۔ 
کاش، میرے اندر گونجتی یہ آواز تم سنو تو ہر بات بھول کر حیرت سے مجھےدیکھو۔۔۔ پھر میں ہاتھ بڑھا کر تمھارا گال نرمی سے چھو لوں اور تمھارے اندر کی تمام اداسی اپنی ہتھیلی میں بھر لوں۔۔
!کاش

Stories from my mind, heart and soul!: my lost Elsa

Stories from my mind, heart and soul!: my lost Elsa: "I hv lost my Elsa."  She said after a while. I Looked at her intently, waiting for her to continue. she looked very calm for som...

my lost Elsa

"I hv lost my Elsa."  She said after a while. I Looked at her intently, waiting for her to continue. she looked very calm for someone who has had so much bottled up inside. She said nothing for a long time.
"How?"  I asked quietly. She looked at me with blank eyes for about 3 seconds and then as if she suddenly remembered the topic of discussion, replied to me. "There was a storm. Kind of tsunami. It wasn't unexpected but it was bigger than we had thought. Much bigger and stronger. We were holding hands. Me n Elsa. I was holding her hand really tight. You see she was very dear to me. But when the storm hit us hard I realized that She was holding someone elses' hand too."
She looked at me like she expected me to be surprised, so i faked the surprise and made a small o with my mouth. She seemed to be happy that I am following the exact emotions. She continued "Yeah she was and it was dragging us down. So i tried to tell her that she should let go. It was mere baggage, i knew. Elsa was in habit of dragging extra baggage. But she refused to let go. The storm was very rough, we both were numb. I remember being tired. Very tired. There is a chunk i dont exactly remember because i think i had dozed off. I felt so light, it occurred to me that Elsa might have let the other hand go. I felt so light and happy." The memory of that time spread across hr face and i could tell that each word of hers was true.
"What happened next?"i couldn't keep curiosity out of my voice.
"well" her voice was distant. " I guess I woke up one day to see that she was still holding the other hand and all of a sudden i realized that i am not floating anymore. I was drowning and choking and i couldn't breath. I looked at Elsa and i thought maybe she will see it this time but she was so calm, so unconcerned and that was when i realized that she will never let go of the other on my accord." She hung her head down for a while but only for a while. She looked so sad and dejected that i started to feel sorry for her. But when she looked up she had a light in her eyes.
"Didn't you request her again?" I asked eagerly.
"No. I knew it was a lost cause so i let go. I let go of her hand even though I wasn't sure whether she or i will survive that. "
"Have you?"
"I dnt know. I havnt found a shore yet. I am lost in an ocean but at least  no one is dragging me down nor am i. I do have rough patches though where i barely make it but m here...aren't i?
"Dont u miss Elsa?" Somehow it made me sad.
"I do." She said with impatience. "Of course i do. I stumble a lot and whenever i do, i miss her th most because i used to reach out for her. I miss everything but i try to cherish that time rather than getting upset over it."
" Will you be ok?"
"Of course i will be. We all learn to live. I will too.maybe it will take sometime but hey whose counting, right?" she laughed cheerfully.
"DO u know what Fitzgerald said, doctor? HE said 'there are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice."
She was smiling. I couldn't say anything. She gave me a lesson, unknowingly.
Bell rang. The session was over.

تمھیں خبر یے؟

نومبر کی یخ بستہ شام میں گرم اونی شال لپیٹے، گھٹنوں تک کمبل اوڑھے برآمدے میں راکنگ چیئر پہ بیٹھی کتاب پڑھتی یہ ملائم سی جلد والی ، جس کے چہرے پہ تازگی اور مسکان میں شگفتگی ہے ۔ ۔ ۔ تم ہو
!!
تم جو اپنی سنہری آنکھوں پہ چشمہ لگائے ، لس دقیق سی کتاب میں نجانے کون سے زمانے کے افسانے پڑھتی ہو ، کن گمشدہ رازوں کو کریدتی ہو۔ تم جو بے دھیانی میں اپنی الجھی ہوئی لٹوں کو انگلیوں کے گرد لپیٹتی ہو اور کبھی اپنی بھنووں کو ترچھا تو کبھی سکیڑ لیتی ہو۔۔ تمھہں خبر ہے کہ تم کیا کرتی ہو؟
سردی سے لال ہوتی تمھاری یہ ناک ۔ ۔ تمھارا دھواں اڑاتا کافی کا مگ، جس کی خوشبو چرا کے ہوا چاروں دشاوں تک لے جا رہی ہے۔ تمھیں خبر ہے کہ تمھارے وجود کی مہک کہاں کہاں گل کھلا رہی ہے؟
جھیل کنارے بیٹھا کوئی چرواہا تمھاری ہنسی کو رباب کی دھن میں ڈھالتا ہو گا تو ایک زمانہ محو رقص ہوتا ہو گا۔۔ تمھارے وجود کی چاندنی سے اندھیری رات میں بھٹکتے جگنو رستہ تلاش کرتے ہوں گے۔ ۔  مگر تم کیا جانو۔ ۔ یہ پیراہن ہوا کے ہاتھ آسمان کے لیے کیسے کیسے رنگ بھیجتا ہے۔ ۔ آسمان تشکراْ تمارے رخساروں پہ کیسی لالی اتارتا ہے ۔ ۔ تمیں کیا خبر اہل دل کس بے بسی سے تمہیں دیکھتے اور تمہاری نظر اتارتے ہیں۔
اور میں، میں جو کینوس پہ بارہا تمھاری تصویر بناتا ہوں کہ شاید میرا ہنر تمھارے حسن سے انصاف کر پائے ۔ ۔
کاش کہ تمہیں خبر ہو، اس سے پہلے کہ وقت کی خزاں روپہلے سپنوں کی بہار پہ چھا جائے اور اس سے پہلے کہ انتظار کی حد زندگی کی مہلت سے بڑھ جائے۔ ۔ کاش کہ تمہیں خبر ہو۔ ۔ ۔