She was certainly one of the most attractive girls in the crowd. There was an aura of decency and secrecy around her that caught the attention of the one looking at her, and her eyes, darting in all the directions, scanning things and x-raying people as if she would know their deepest secrets by just a glance and yet she appeared so uninterested. Like there was nothing in her surroundings that could keep her busy even for a few seconds. She was wearing black jeans and a dull pink t shirt that bore the F word very boldly. She had dyed some fragments of her hair blue that hung loosely over her shoulders. Her black backpack was decorated with badges and key chains and other accessories. Her wrists were full of bands and chains. Even with the weirdest of the dressing, there was none in the crowd, who would dare pass a rude comment, or gesture. She had a grace.
It was until after midnight but she was still wide awake. Something was constantly nagging her, and she felt very irritated. Throwing the sheets off her, she tiptoed to her writing table and switched on the table lamp. Pulling her dear diary from under the pile of books, she began unloading herself, hardly ever stopping to read what she was writing. Tears started to mound in her eyes and began running down her cheeks.She didn’t make any effort to stop herself. She finished writing and closed the dairy putting it back into its place; she slid back under her sheets and closed her eyes. She was in for a sound sleep.
It must have been near to zero that morning; the weather was still very cloudy as if it would start raining any second. She lay in her bed, thinking about the tough day ahead. She wished she could close her eyes now and excuse herself even for the Day of Judgment. Impossible. She took a deep sigh and came out of her cozy bed. First encounter with the cold sent a shiver down her spine.Trembling she went inside the washroom, the splash of the cold water over her face made her draw a sharp breath. It made her smile.
Putting on layers of warm clothing, under and over her uniform, she thought about her undone homework. It was the least of her worries. Within fifteen minutes she was all set to go out and struggle through another harsh day.
The chirping of a bird made her look up. It was a bright and fine winter day. The sun felt so good against her cold skin. She had been sitting on that wall for quite sometime. She needn’t count hours. It was her favorite spot in her neighborhood. Peaceful, calm and without any intrusion, her concept of heaven matched this location perfectly. Few people had passed her since her arrival there; they all had the same curious expressions and a smile that she was unable to decipher. She hardly cared. Nothing mattered to her except for her own presence. It gave her pleasure to be with her own self. The charisma of the place was blocking all the unpleasant memories. She was grateful to have an automatic system like that. As she saw the silhouettes grow longer she knew she has less time now. Taking a deep breath she came back to the reality, picking her things up, she started to walk away, never looking back.
She stopped writing suddenly as if she had lost all the interest. Staring blankly at the unfinished line, she put her pen down. A sad smile touched her lips for a moment, she knew nothing will make her finished this script now.It was as if she’d been deprived of the words that were previously dawning upon her. She looked at the clock and wondered how she will manage to pass the day now with nothing to do. Even though it was her routine, she still wondered the same thing each day. Nothing in her life met the end.
She turned the page of the book with distasteful expressions as if it was some bitter tablet she was forced to swallow. She scanned the whole page without any enthusiasm and threw it aside. Folding her arms on her chest, she did nothing for a few minutes, allowing herself to relax.Then she picked another book from the pile that she had dumped at her bedside. She rejected it by just looking at the cover, some had titles she didn’t approve and others had writers she thought had no right to write a book. She was clearly bored. She turned on the radio. Dj seemed to be blabbering and the music was nothing but noise. She turned it off. She realized that she had a headache. She decided to get back to the only interesting time pass she had. She started staring out of her window.
She twisted and turned, uneasy in her sleep. She could hear a siren far away, like an emergency alarm. It was all in her mind but she couldn’t ignore it. She heard someone walking quietly outside her room; she opened her eyes but couldn’t see anything in the pitch black darkness. She sat up in her bed. Delicate moonlight was trying to peep through the cuts of the curtains. She heard the hurried footsteps grow faint. For what seemed like a lifetime, she sat there trying to calm her racing heartbeat then she laid back and hugged her pillow as tightly as she could. It was her only source of solace.
It was until after midnight but she was still wide awake. Something was constantly nagging her, and she felt very irritated. Throwing the sheets off her, she tiptoed to her writing table and switched on the table lamp. Pulling her dear diary from under the pile of books, she began unloading herself, hardly ever stopping to read what she was writing. Tears started to mound in her eyes and began running down her cheeks.She didn’t make any effort to stop herself. She finished writing and closed the dairy putting it back into its place; she slid back under her sheets and closed her eyes. She was in for a sound sleep.
Putting on layers of warm clothing, under and over her uniform, she thought about her undone homework. It was the least of her worries. Within fifteen minutes she was all set to go out and struggle through another harsh day.
The chirping of a bird made her look up. It was a bright and fine winter day. The sun felt so good against her cold skin. She had been sitting on that wall for quite sometime. She needn’t count hours. It was her favorite spot in her neighborhood. Peaceful, calm and without any intrusion, her concept of heaven matched this location perfectly. Few people had passed her since her arrival there; they all had the same curious expressions and a smile that she was unable to decipher. She hardly cared. Nothing mattered to her except for her own presence. It gave her pleasure to be with her own self. The charisma of the place was blocking all the unpleasant memories. She was grateful to have an automatic system like that. As she saw the silhouettes grow longer she knew she has less time now. Taking a deep breath she came back to the reality, picking her things up, she started to walk away, never looking back.
She stopped writing suddenly as if she had lost all the interest. Staring blankly at the unfinished line, she put her pen down. A sad smile touched her lips for a moment, she knew nothing will make her finished this script now.It was as if she’d been deprived of the words that were previously dawning upon her. She looked at the clock and wondered how she will manage to pass the day now with nothing to do. Even though it was her routine, she still wondered the same thing each day. Nothing in her life met the end.
She had been sitting silently by the fireplace without moving at all. Anyone could take her for a mannequin, if she weren’t breathing. She could see the past events of her life like a film. Her muscles were tensing and relaxing from time to time. The cloudy evening had made the whole environment very sad yet very enchanting. The sound of the pouring rain on the metal roof gave a very eerie effect. Suddenly she got up and took her dear diary out of its usual place. Searching for a match box she found it near the fireplace. Grabbing it, she made her way out on balcony. She tore the first page and lit it. Then one by one she burnt it all, setting herself free from the ghost of her past that had haunted her for so long. She watched the pages turning into ashes. Relief spread across her face. She had turned her past into history.
She was sitting at the brink of a cliff. Several meters down she could see water, Dark and deep. She wondered what lay in the bottom. Her guess was peace. It was raining hard that day. Everything was misty and she could not see the mountains surrounding her because of the dense fog. It felt good to be covered with something, as if she had become invisible for the world. Fog was hiding her fears and secrets. She wished to leave them behind when she set off to her new journey. She hated her secrets and lies. She looked up at the sky and felt the thick sheet of water hitting her face hard. She wanted to melt away right there. She stood up, rising her both arms in the air, she jumped of the cliff, headlong into the mystical water. A new journey had begun.
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