Teri meri anaa part 7

 Recap:
"Nai, i dont talk to strangers!" nakhre se keh k woh andar bhag gai.
moiz us ko dekhta reh gaya. abhi to itni friendly thi aur ab yun jawab de gai hai..
 us ko sochte huwe moiz ne coffee ka cup mun se laga lia...

Now read:
Moiz k jane k baad b ghar ka mahol pehle jaisa nahi huwa... ya shyd mehu ko kuch badla badla lag raha tha...
Ik sham Baba jaldi ghar aa gaye.
" Asslam-o-alikum" mhru unhien dekh k chehki.. pichle 2 hafte se baba be-inteha busy they.. Mehru ki bus ujlat men hi mulaqat hoti thi unse.
"Baba janii." Mia stairs se neeche atey huwe zor se boli. Un dono ka josh dekh k baba muskura diye... Koi andaza bhi nhi ker sakta tha k yeh do betiyan un k liye kia theen.. un ki sans chalti thi in k dam se.. koi zara c bhi taklf un ko ho , woh bardasht nhi ker sakte they.
"Mehru janu, chae milley g?" baba sofey pe baithte huwe boley. " Mia ama kahan hain ap ki?"
" yes baba." mehru kitchen ki taraf chal di.
"Ama taya abu k ghar hain baba. keh rahi theen ap aaen to fresh ho k waheen a ajen. baba mene ap k kaprey nikal diye hain.." un k sath jur k baithtey huwe mia keh rahi thi.  Baba men us ki jan thi.
"Thank you." baba ne us ko pyar kia.
" Baba kia ho ra hai taya ji k ghar? " mia ne moqe se faida uthate huwe poocha. 
kab se un sab ko takleef thi k barey kia khichri paka rahe hain likin koi b kuch batane ko tayar nahi tha..

Agle din sunday ko bilakhir yeh raz b maloom ho hi gaya.
Lunch per sab log un k ghar invited they. khane k bad jab sab lounge men baithey to chachu ne kaha. " kitne arse se koi ronaq hi nhi hoi." 
"Haan , men b yehi soch raha hun. koi hala gula hona chae." taya aba boley.
" Shadi se bara kia hangama ho ga." yeh choti chachi theen..
sab bache apne apne ami aba ka mun dekh rahe they. un ka andaaz aaisa tha jaise khoob yad kerne k baad chotey bache sabaq sunate hain.
Acting men kuch b natural nahi tha.
" papa jo kehna hai , aram se bata dien plz." Ali ne bilakhir un ko toka!.
yeh over acting ab sab bachun ki bardasht se hi bahir ho rahi thi.
Baroon ne b kalma-e-shukar ada kia tha...
" Asal men.." baba ne baat shuru ki. " Hum yousaf ki shadi ker rahe hain,"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT???' sab se pehli aur oonchi cheekh izzah ki thi..
"yaay!"
"wowww!"
"great!"
"kab????"
"kiss se?"

Itne sare sawaloon aur bhangroon aur luddi k darmiyan men taya bechare batate hi reh gaye..
" Robina se... hamare khandan ki bachi hai.. Noor Haveli ..."
itne shor men kissi ko fikar nahi thi, kon robina, kahan se ai hai, kia taluq hai, noor haveli itne saal baad un k darmiyan kiun aur kaise aa gai hai?
woh sab khush they.. betahasha khush .. Yousaf lala Mehru k liye bohat ahem they.. yunhi to wasif lala b bohat ache thy likin yousaf lala ki baat hi aur thi. woh hamesha se un se bohat close rahi thi.. baba k bad yousaf lala hi thy jo mehu ki koi baat nhi talte they.. 
aur ab yousaf lala ki shadi... mehru khushi aur excitement se uchal rahi thi... "awesome. kitna maxa aye ga."
Is waqt ussey bus yeh fikar thi k woh kaise lagey g, kia pehne g ... us k dresses kin colors k hon gey, shoes kahan se le g, jewellary, hair style.. 
us waqt mehr ko lagta k dunia men yehi important tareen chexien hain... 
us waqt tak mehr in mohabaatun k ilawa kissi mohabbat ka maxa nahi chakha tha...

teri meri anaa part 6

Recap:
"IN-TE-RES-TING!!!" us ka bohat purana tajasus jag gaya tha... Noor Haveli ka moima tha kia...

Mehr ko bohat jald pata chalne wala tha..

Yeh moiz se us ki pehli mulaqat thi...

Now read:

Moiz 1 hafta un k ghar men raha.. Taya abu ki study mien najane kia meeting hoti rehti thi... ami to aaise raaz rakhe baithi theen jaise Pakistan ki salmiat ka sawal ho.
larke b sanjeeda nazar aney laggey... larkiyun ko koi kuch batane ki zhmat nahi kerta tha.. likin baat khas thi.. itna to andaza ho hi gaya tha!
Mehru ne pehle kuch din to sabar kia likin phir ussy ik hi banda nazar aya jo us ko haqeeqat bata sakta tha..

Moiz roz subha jogging kerta tha, yeh to mehr ne dekh hi lia tha.. Hafte ki subha, coffee bana k mehr ne lawn ka rukh kia jahan moiz abhi abhi wapis lauta tha. Canada se aaya tha, yaqeenan us ko coffee achi lagti ho g...

"Assalam o alikum" Moiz sar jhukae apni sochoon men magan tha.. mehru ki awaz sun k chonka.. ankhien utha k us ko dekha jo hathun men safaid mug aur chehre pe ik bari si smile saja k khari thi.

"Walikum salam." moiz ne sanjedgi se jawab dia. likin ik dam se us ka us din wala huliya yaad aya to hansi aagai jissey woh bht maharat se chuppa gaya..
" yeh coffee... m sure ap ko coffee pasand ho g? hai na?" mehru coffee ka mug mazeed us ki taraf kerte huwe kaha, woh har haal men moiz se baat kerna chati thi.
" jii... pasand to hai." moiz ko us ki harqatien mashkook lag rahitheen.. pichle 5 din se siwae salam dua k us ka kissi b larki cousin se koi interaction nahi huwa tha. aur aj achanak is ko coffee ka khayal kaise aa gaya?
" ji mene b socha ap mehmaan hain.. asal men hamare ghar men to koi coffee peeta hi nahi hai. to iss liye men khudi le ai ap k liy" farate se jhoot boltey huwe mehru ki nazroon k samne kitchen cabinet men nescafe ki bottle ghoom rahi thi.. aur swedish coffee k woh dherun packs jo yousaf lala se us ne mangwae they farmaish ker ker k..

"ohh acha...??" moiz ne heeran ho k poocha.
" ji bilkul.. hum zara conventional se log hain na.. woi chae qawa......." abhi adhi baat mehru k mun men hi thi k Akbar khan tray le k aagaya.. " Sahab yeh ap ki coffee... sorry men aj thora late ho gaya..wo asal men...." 
"its ok Akbar khan.. thank you." moiz ne us ko roka. yeh pora khandan hi lambi tashreeh kerta tha aur in k mulazim b..

"ji kia keh rahi theen ap?" moiz ne muskurahat daba k us ko dekha..
" ji men yeh keh rahhi thi k ap hameesha subha jogging kerte hain?" woh b mehru thi.. foran pansa palat gai.
moiz zor se hansa... ussey mehr ki hazir jawabi pasand aii thi.

"ji bachpan se... men boarding men perta raha hun hamesha se. wahan to ik routine hoti hai.. ab to adat ho gai hai." moiz ne tafseel se us k sawal ka jawab dia.

" achaaaa.... to phir islamabad kaise ana huwa?" mehru ne casually pochte huwe tang k uper tang rakhi.
" taqdeer khainch lai." 
" haan woh to hai.. bohat dair se khainch k lai hai... hum to bht saalun se idher hi rehte hian ." mehru ne shararat se kaha.
" hahaha.. dair ayed , darust ayed." moiz ne kaha
"arey ap ko to urdu balkey farsi b ati hai." 
" Yale waloon ko urdu nahi ati kia?" moiz ne maxe se poocha to mehru haqeeqatan apni kursi se 2 foot uchli.
"YALE???? ap yale se perh k aye hain? wowww" mehru noor haveli ko bhool bhall k us se impress ho gai. Yale us ko bohat pasand tha. us ki building, mahol, mausam.. 
" haan..." moiz us ki excitement se mehzooz huwa.
" acha kaisa hai.. matlab maxa ata tha? perhai tough thi?"  
" campus to bohat khoobsurat hai.. perhai tough thi.." moiz ko samajh nhi aya k kaise describe kare ..
" great .. awesome..phr bad men ap canada chale gaye they? "
" haan.. phir job mil gai thi to wahan move ho gaya tha."
" achaaa...."
phir ik awkward si khamoshi aa gai ..
" chalien  men chalti hun.. mene university jana hai na." mehru ko apni university koi dhaba lag rahi thi us waqt yale k samne.
" ok.. yeh coffee le jao na." moiz ne us ka white mug us ki taraf bharhate huwe kaha.
" nahi.. yeh mene ap k liye hi banai thi.. pee lien.." mehru coffee peeti thi. likin wo nhi jo itni buri ho aur khud banai ho!
" sure.. thank you."
" ALLAH hafiz" mehr andar ki taraf chal di ..
" hey you.." moiz ki awaz sun k woh khttak k rukki .peeche mor k apni taraf ishara kia.. jaise poch ahi ho men?
" yes... meri dost bano g?"moiz ne us ko dkhte huwe kaha.
mehru ka dil kharab ho gaya. " akhir nikla na woh typical mard kia huwa jo yale se perh k aya hai."
" Nai, i dont talk to strangers!" nakhre se keh k woh andar bhag gai.
moiz us ko dekhta reh gaya. abhi to itni friendly thi aur ab yun jawab de gai hai..
 us ko sochte huwe moiz ne coffee ka cup mun se laga lia...

Teri meri anaa part 5

Recap:
Mehr ko zindagi achi lagti thi... " zindagi jeene men aur waqt guzarne men bohat farq hai beta!" woh aksar mod men aa k philosophy jharti. 
sab us ki khoob kit lagate they.. us ki ulti seedhi harqatun aur be tukkey adventures per.. likin bus mehr aaisi hi thi... Jab tak ussey moiz nahi mila tha.. woh aaisi hi thi.... 

Now read:
Woh khizaan ki ik aam si sham thi. Mehr shadeed boriyat ka shikar thi. 
"ALLAH kia boriyat hai... sab kider hain?" ik se dosre portion men woh ghoomti rahi.. magar siwae tai ami aur chachyun k koi na mila.. woh b apne apne kamoon men magan..
ghar aa kr us ne ik text likha aur tamam ghar waloon ko send ker dia.
nateeja yeh nikla k sham k 7 bajey tamam log, maltoon k sath taya abu k lounge men mojood they. iss dafa koi team nahi thi. taya aba aur mohsin chachu judge they.
"jiss ne ziada maltey khaye woh winner ho ga. simple" mehru ne game batai. us ko fruits bohat pasand they. us ka dil chata tha k khane ki jaga b koi fruit hi khati rahe.
sab gol daira bana k baith gaye aur darmiyan men maltoon ka pahar khara tha. asal muqabla mehru aur larkoon k darmiyan hi tha. baqi larkiyan to tameez se hi khati theen. 
adhe ghante baad, taya abu k lounge ka manzar dekhne wala tha. hasb e tawaqoo maidan men mehru hassan waleed aur usman reh gaye they.
Bari si chaddar pe ja baja matloon k chilkey parey they aur sath hi baij idher udher bikhrey parrey they. 
ik dosre ko harane k chakar , khoob badtameezi se ik dosre k hath se malte chente huwe woh khoob hans rahe they.
Iss shugal k mahol se taya aba log rukhsat le k study men chale gaye. khawateen b ik kone men najane kon sey mo'ozu pe guftagoo kerne lag gai theen.
Itne mien bahir bell ki awaz sunai di. Ali gate kholne gaya. baqi mahol per koi khas farq nhi parra tha.
1 minute baad Ali wapis aya to akela na tha.. us k hamra ik aur admi b tha... 
"Assalam o alikum" No-warid ne ooncha salam ker k sab ki tawaju khud pe mabzool karai.
aain us waqt jab mehru k sleeves uper ko charhey huwe they, kandhun tak atey baal poni men qaid kerne k bawajood samne se bahir nikal aye they aur maltoon ka raas us k hathun aur mun pe laga tha.. aur woh hassan se malta lete huwe betahasha hans rahi thi , us shaks ne us ko dekha tha.
sab per ik tahirana nazar daalte huwe, haqeeqatan us ki nazar mehr per aa k ruk gai thi. us ka qasoor nhi tha, mehr ka huliya hi aaisa tha.
sab se pehle chachi jan ko hosh aya. apni jaga se utheen " Walikum asalam. kaise ho beta? Moiz ho na?"

aur ohir ik ik ker k sab hi trance se bahir aye. 
"Moiz kon?"  mehr ne 4 , 5 dafa sab ka mun dekh k ik hi sawal kia likin kissi ne us ko jawab dene ki zehmat nhiki.
thori hi dair men Moiz ko taya aba k pass study men pohancha dia. tamam larke huliya darust ker k wahan hi jane lagey. 
ik halchal c mach gai thi ghar men...
"Ami..." mehr ne ami ko zor se pukara jo kitchen men jane laggi theen.
" mehru... jao ghar.. halaat thek karo apni. kia badatamezi ha?" ami n us ki sunne ki bajaye apni suna di..
"ami.. yeh kon admi hai?" us ne ami ki baat an sunni kerte huwe pocha.
" Moiz hai na" 
" Ami ... moiz koi asmaan se nhi utra na k mujhe us k barey men pata ho ga.. kon moiz bhai??" us ne jhunjhula k poocha.
" Noor haveli se aya hai." Ami ne aaista se kaha
"OOoooooooo" mehr ne lambi c O ki...
 "IN-TE-RES-TING!!!" us ka bohat purana tajasus jag gaya tha... Noor Haveli ka moima tha kia...

Mehr ko bohat jald pata chalne wala tha..

Yeh moiz se us ki pehli mulaqat thi...

Teri meri anaa part 4

Recap:
Mehru sun k bhi yun baithi rahi jaise kuch suna na ho..
bilal ka nam us k andar koi b halchal jagane men nakam raha tha...

Now read further:
 Bahir lawn men kia ho raha tha .. us se anjaan mehr dupattey men chuppi baithi thi... Filhal kissi k pass  waqt nahi tha k uss ka haal ehwal poochta...
dupattey k andar baithey pehle pehel usey shadeed rona aya.. magar  phir apni beeti hoi zindagi ka har pal yaad aney laga.. 
kaisi thi woh... 2 saal pehle tak..jab moiz ko janti nahi thi...
aur phir moiz se milne k bad... kitna badal gai thi... 
aur ab... bilal us ko apne rang men dhal le ga.. 
ajeeb hoti hain larkiyaan bhi.. kachi matti jaisi.. jo jiss rang men dhalley, bus usi k rang men dhal jati hian... narmi se, mulahimat se,,,  aur mard, dhalne ka fun khoob jantey hian....badal dena ata hai un ko... bus tabdeel kerne k baad sambhalna nahi ata....

Mehr aur Mia do hi behnien thi. apne baba ki bohat ladli.. mehr pehli beti hone ka faida uthati to mia k pass sab se chota hone ka vote tha. aur baba to jaise un k samne moom they.. ama ghussa b kertien , magar baba hameesha hans k taal dete..."kia karoon? ALLAH ne shehzadiyun ki zimadari di hai.. pori to kerni parey g."  lss laad pyar k sath sath baba ne un ki tarbiyat b alaa khatoot per ki thi. ghar sambhalne se le k games tak, har cheex men agey.. har cheez men awal...

Mehr ka  har andaaz aam sa tha, aur yehi baat us ko khas banati thi...
har aam si larki ki tarhan us ko icecream, cake, fanta, chicken, chocolates, mangoes, pink color bohat pasand tha. sab logoon ki tarhan woh apne dostoon ki company enjoy kerti thi.. birthdays aur shadiyun men khoob enjoy kerti thi.. 
likin is sab k bawajood , mehru ki zaat ka ik hissa woh b tha jo har dekhne wale ko nazar nahi ata tha aur na hi mehru kissi ko dekhne detti thi. woh us ki personal space thi..us ki sanctuary! 

Noor mehel men rehne wale sab log ik dusre se yun jurrey se jaise kissi haar men moti piroye hoon.. mohabaat aur izzat un k awaleen asool they..woh be tahasha ameer nahi they, likin un ko jeene ka dhang ata tha.. apne apne portions men sakoon se rehte they.. shyd un k darmiyan zan, zar aur zameen na thi, iss liye.
mehru apne khandaan ko idealize kerti thi.
Noor mehal ka naam us k taya aba ne Noor Haveli k naam pe rakha tha. un k gaoon ki haveli.. per najane kiun woh log kabhi wahan jatey na they... Us ne amaa se Haveli ki bohat tareefien sunni theen.. bohat bar baba se kaha b likin bus ik yehi bat thi jo baba taal jatey they..
Apne ghar ki zinadagi itni maxedar thi k us ko kabhi xiada kami mehsus na hoi thi.. bus ik shoq tha.. bari c haveli men rehna kaisa lagta ho ga.

 .... Noor mehel k 4 portions ka ik hi lawn tha.. garmiyun ki shamun men aam aur sardiun ki shamoon men maltey lawn men rakh k sab cousins baqaida shart  laga k khatey .. us k bad kissi na kissi game ka ehtamam b xaroori thi.. badminton aur ludo... crosswords, scrabble..  Education aur Intelligence Noor mehel ki 2 khasusiat theen. aur show off ka koi moqa woh hath se jane nahi dete they.. chahe ik dosre ko hi kiun na dikhana ho.

Hasan aur Mehr ki team behtareen thi. issi liye woh roz har kissi ko challenge kerte phirte they .. haar jane pe pizza khilana b perta to mehru ko bura nahi lagta tha... woh aaisi hi thi, rishtoon k peche cheexun ki perwa na kerne wali..

aur wada to mehru k liye jaise marne maarney wali baat thi.. wasif lala bechare iss adat ka shikar ho chukey they.. ik bar sardiyun men wasif lala ne us se keh dia k jab barf lparey g to men tumien Abbottabad bhejoon ga.. 
un becharey ki buri qismat k ik hafte baad barf lag gai.. mehru ne Geo suntey hi un ko phone milaya.. ik bar na uthane pe., us ne dobara milaya... aur itna milaya k wasif lala ko meeting se excuse ker k ana para..
Ghar aa ker Mehru ko bulaya aur khoob izaat ki... woh un k samne khari ansoo bahati rahi.. 
"Ab jao!" lala khafgi se boley. likin mehr ne jaise suna hi nahi tha.
"mehr, go!"
likin mehr bibi bus khari ansoo bahati raheen.
" mehr .. uff! kia baat hai?" wasif lala aaah bhar k boley.
" lala ... ap ne kaha tha abbottabad le jaen gey.. barf lag gai hai." ansoo aur hitchkiyun k darmiyan woh boli.. to wasif lala ko us per .. pyar aya... 
" mehr .. is dafa nahi.. next time." unhun ne us ko talaaa.. un ko waqai kam ha.
" you promised lala... "
phir, lala ne bohat talaa likin mehr ne poorey ghar men har ik ko pakar pakar k kaha k wasif lala ne wada kia tha.. unhun ne promise kia tha... 
bilakhir ik raat taya ji k ghar dinner per taya ji ne kaha : " wasif tum ne kiun wada kia tha??" Baba log hans parey.
wasif lala bechare kia kehte...
" awal to ainda wada mat kerna. aur yeh jo ker lia hai to le jao bachoon ko friday ko Abbottabad. Office men dekh loon ga." 
yun un bechare ki khallasi hoi.

Mehr ko zindagi achi lagti thi... " zindagi jeene men aur waqt guzarne men bohat farq hai beta!" woh aksar mood men aa k philosophy jharti. 
sab us ki khoob kit lagate they.. us ki ulti seedhi harqatun aur be tukkey adventures per.. likin bus mehr aaisi hi thi... Jab tak ussey moiz nahi mila tha.. woh aaisi hi thi.... 

Teri Meri Ana part 3

Recap:
pareshani se us men apni daaien abroo ko masla...
" yar ik glass pani la do" pass se guzarte huwe waiter ko us ne kaha aur khud kursi pe baith gaya..

Now read further:

"Arey tu yahan baitha hai .. chal aja na.." Hassan kissi ka se wahan se guzra to ussey andhre kone men baitha dekh k us k pass chala aya. 
"hm? haan.. haan chal... men zara khane ka dekhne aya tha.. pani peene baith gaya tha." foran se apne lehje ko hashash banate huwe us ne kaha.
" yaar waise apni mehru kitni pyari lag rahi hai.. qasam se itna dil khafa ho ra hai na.. " Hassan mehr se 3 saal chota tha aur ghar men us ki aur mehr ki bohat banti thi. har game men dono partners hote they balkey partners in crime. Intehai safai se cheating kerte they har game men aur agar pakre jate to intehai dhetai se mukr b jate they.
"Shadi to sab larkiun ki hoti hai yaar.. woh khush rahe they" Moiz ko apni awaz ajnabi c lagi. 
"Nai yar.. kash us ki shadi kahien qareb men hi ho jati .. Canada bohat durr hai yaar.." Hassan ki koi behen nahi thi.. Mehr ne us k khoob nahre uthae they.. adhi raat ko chips bana k dena, us k sath cricket khailna, phone pe logoon ko tang kerna .. aur yeh mehr ki sohbat ka hi asar tha k apne se 7 saal barey czn ko woh mood men aa k 'yar'  aur ' tu' keh deta tha. 
"Acha senti na ho.. In sha ALLAH bohat acha ho ga." 

lawn men khoob mahol bana huwa tha.. dhulhe wale khoob dhol bajoon k sath aye they.. itni larkiyaan dekh k sab larkey apne best behavior pe they... daant to bahir they hi, ab lehjey men mazeed sheerini b ghul gai thi.. waleed to dobara bal b set ker aya tha.. just in case!

'izaah... is ka ghoongat nikalo .. jaldi karo.. bilal b aaya ha" Bina apa bechari phooli saansoon k darmiyan bolien...
"bina apa...men ker dti hun." izzah ne apni hansi rokki .. us ka ghoonghat theek kerte huwe wo mehr k kaan men boli. " mehr .. mujhe nhi lagta bina apa tumare waleeme tak bachne wali hain. dekho sab se ziada woi iss shadi ko serious le rahi hain!" 
mehr ne us k bazoo pe ik chutki kati.. " be huda.. khud to ban sanwar k aa gai ho.. kissi ko to kam kerne do na"
" ouch.. ufffff..  utar ai ho na apni ooqat pe.. dhulhan ho is liye lihaz ker rahi hun warna abhi seedha kerti tumien. kher badla to men le hi loon g "  izzah apna bazoo sehlati hoi boli.

iss se phle k mehr kuch kehti , Mia apna lehenga sambhalti stage pe ai.. us k pass baith k us ka hath pakara aur sargoshi men kehni laggi.. "Mehru, ik baat poochun?"
Mehr chonk se gai.. najane mia kia poochne wali thi.. iss waqt kam az kam woh kissi b sawal ka jawab dene ki halaat men nahi thi.. ghonghat k andar us ne ankhien band ker k porey dil se dua ki k mia kuch aisa waisa na pooche..
" hmm.. poocho.." Mehr ne bazahir mazboot lehjey men kaha,
"yaar men pyari lag rahi hoon?" 
sawal suntey hi mehr ik lamhe ko heeran hoi aur phir khilkhila k hans parri... ufff!! ik dam se jaise sans aazad hoi thi.. mia b na...
" arey haan... bohat hi pyari.. sari mehendi men tum hi to ik haseen lag rahi hun.. plz izzah ko na batana mene aisa kaha tha "
" m serious naaa.. " mia ne israr kia..
" arey baba m serious too na.."
" actually mehru .. woh sufiyan mujhe ghoor raha hai.. bar bar... "
" what? shabana aunty ko bata do ja k us k kartoot.. " mehru k andar ki bari behen jag gai, ghairat sameet!
ghoonghat dono hathun se utha k us ne mia ko ghoor k dekha aur boli, " tangien tor doon g us ki . aur tumari b .. hadh men rehna"
mia ne us ko dekha... " awal to mujhe us men koi interest nhi hai.. aur over react mat karo.. woh sufiyan hai, moiz nahi."
Oh my god! yeh mia kia keh gai hai...us ne  ghoonghat wapis gira dia.. is waqt ussey yehi chae tha.. parda.. jo us ko chupa ley .. sab se.. is waqt us ko tanhai chae thi..
ghoonghat men baithi dhulhan k haal se koi wakif nahi tha.. har koi magaan tha.. mehendi apne arooj per thi..

"Bilal itna adashing lag raha hai Mehru...... ufff... sesly! u are so lucky .... pyara lag ra ha MashaALLAH!" Abeer ko sab se pehle dhulha dekhne ka sharf hasil huwa tha .. us ne mehru ko iltah dena apna farz shumar kia.. Mehru sun k bhi yun baithi rahi jaise kuch suna na ho..
bilal ka nam us k andar koi b halchal jagane men nakam raha tha...

                                                                          (to be continued)

Teri Meri Anaa part 2

recap:
"Mehr...." darwaze pe dastak hoi.. " tayar ho rahi ho???" Mia ne chilla k poocha...
"Hann mia... bus thori dair men ati hun.." ba mushkil apna gala saaf ker k us ne kaha..

Now read further :

Yellow aur green gottey wale kapre, paoon men tilley se sajey khussey, hathun men mehendi aur dhair sari churiyaan, phoolun ka zeewar pehne huwe jab woh aainey k samne khari huwi to ik lamhe ko khud ko b na pehchan pai...
roney se na sirf ankien surkh hoi theen balkey naak b halki si laal ho rahi thi.. kali ghoor ankhoon men pani chamak raha tha..

aista se darwaza khol k us ne gallery men qadam rakha.. pori gallery men farsh pe ja baja gulab ki patiyan bikhri pari thenn aur sath men chamaki... khushboo k siwa ghar sunsaan tha.. koi aahat nahi thi, na kissi k amad ka andaisha....
chote chote qadam uthati wo sehriyun ki janibarhne laggi... mia ko shyd us ka dhehan nhi raha tha..
abhi us ne dosri sehri pe qadam rakha hi tha k mia k sath us ki tamam cousins andar aa gaen..
" ooye dhulhan ,, ruk jao" izzah ne chekh k kaha. " bohat jaldi ha kia??"
ik pheeki si muskurat k sath woh sab ki baatien sunne lagi.. yak dam hi wo bohat se logoon k darmiyan men ghirr gai.. koi us ka dupata thek kerne laga, koi phool.. woh be hiss se khari rahi.. koi harqat kiye baghair..
"azar, ali, waleed, moiz.. idher aoo.. yeh dupattey ka ik ik kona  pakro.. usman aur hassan kahan hain? " bina appa sab ko directions de rahi theen.. " larke waley an wale hoon gey.. un k anay se pehle tum logoon ne jo apni rasmien kerni hain ker lena.. bad men moqa nhi miley ga. aur khabardar jo tum sab larkiyan over hoeen ziada. bohat tamez men rhna"
 izzah ne mun bana k bina apa ko dekha jo us ko mehendi k thaal per dant rahi theen.. " kia hai bina apa ap ko?"
"men nervous hun izzah.. Baba ji ne apne bachpan k dost ko rishta dia hai apni nawasi ka.. har cheex thek honi cha"
" bina apa to Baba ji k dost inspection per to nahi aa rahe na k har chex perfect ho .. unhun ne kia marks dene hain . ap b na.. bahir dekhien.. hum sambhal lien gey" sehr ne un ko tasalli de k bahir nikala.

Dupatte k kone pakarne ki bari aai to moiz na na kerne laga... " bohat larkiun wala kam ha , men nahi karoon ga" izzah ne chir k us ko dekha .. " moiz bhai, wats wrong with you? 5 min ki to baat ha.. is waqt to substitution b nahi hai"
"Mia tum hi kaho na.." izzah ne chir k mia ko pukara.
"izzah , nahi dil cha ra us ka.. leave him.. jane do us ko..meri behen ki shadi hai, dupatta men khudi pakar loon g" mia ne moiz ki taraf dekhe baghair kaha.
usman andar aya to izzah ne foran us ko khara ker dia dupatta pakra k...

aaista aaista qadam uthati woh un sab k sath sath chalne laggi.. hansi mazak aur un sab ki batun men us ka man behl gaya.. azar ki kissi baat per us ne be ikhtiyar hansna shuru ke dia...
"ooooooo......." sab ne ik sath kaha.. " logoon ki khushiyan check karo." usman kaha..
"oye moiz, tu kiun group se bahir hai.. aja bhai duppatte k ander.. agli teri bari hai." hassan ne na sirf kaha balke hath se pakar k us ko dupatte k andar b ker dia.

us ki perfume ki khusboo ik dam jaise har ehsas pe ghalib aa gai... moiz hamesha se ik hi cologne istamal kerta tha.. signature style..
dil ik dam uchat ho gaya... bebasi ki inteha pe thi woh us waqt.. moiz ka hath us k hath se takraya to do ansoo palkoon ki hadh tor k us k gaaloon pe behne lagey..
bus ik cheex mangi thi us ne apn xindagi men... yeh shaks ...is ka sath...
aur manga b har dua ko girvi rakh k tha : " Allah ji, aur kuch nahi mangoon g.... please... "
per shyd us ki dua men woh asr nhi tha..

lights aur phoolun se sajey stage pe baithi woh koi choti c bachi lag rahi thi.. sehmi hoi...

bus ik nazar moiz ne us ko dekha tha.. apni hatheeliun ko dekhte huwe woh najane kia soch rahi thi...
ab har khel khatam ... Moiz jaise khuwab se jaga tha....
"Mehr ki shadi ho rahi hai... actual men.. real mien... "
ik dam se moiz ko shock sa laga..
pareshani se us men apni daaien abroo ko masla...
" yar ik glass pani la do" pass se guzarte huwe waiter ko us ne kaha aur khud kursi pe baith gaya..

                                                                                              ( to b continued)

teri meri ana part 1

" I dont believe you.... !" Mia ne ta'suf se us ki taraf dekha.
lawn men kursiyaan set kerwate huwe us ne Mia ki awaz pe palat k dekha. " kiun, kia huwa? kuch garbar ha setting mien?" us ne lawn ki sajawat pe ik nazar dalli.
" tum us larki ki shadi  ki kursiyan set ker rahe ho jis se tumien mohabbat hai... how could you do this to her.. to yourself!" hathun men peele phool pakre, ankhoon men ansoo liye woh us se sawal ker rahi thi.
" kia bakwas ha mia? jao andar .. and dont you dare breathe a word about any of your stories! understand?" aaista magar sakht lehjey men us ne mia ko warn kia.
ik gehri sans le k woh pass parri kursi pe baith gaya... " kia bakwas hai..sara mood khrb kr dia hai iss mia ki bachi ne.. mohabbat . what shit!"
Mamoo ne awaz di to wo jaldi se un ki madad kerne uth gaya...

" mehr... " lakri key jharookey men kharri woh b us udas sham ka koi hissa lag rahi thi..peela libas, zard c rangat aur hathun men peeli chooriyan pehne kitni masoom lag rahi thi woh.
"hm?" mia ki awaz pe halkey se boli.. "mia, kal men yahan se chali jaun g...ajeeb lag raha hai na"
mia us k kandhe pe sar rakh k rone lagi.. " kash men tumien rok sakti.."
" itna larti ho mujhse.. aj hi pyar aa ra hai tumien b" us k ansoo b jaise ankhoon se nikalne ka bahana dhond rahe they...
Ajeeb baat hai, jo log hameesha sath rehte hain, khayal rakhte hain, pyar kerte hain .. woi apney hathun se ajnabiun k hawale ker dete hain... ik dam sab paraya ho jata hai.. kitna ajeeb lagta hai.. ik dunia se dosri dunia men qadam rakhna... kaisa faisla hota hai apni poori zindagi badal dene ka .. purane chehroon ko naye chehroon se tabdeel kerne ka faisla aur apni zindagi, khushi, aur zaat ka ik ik hisa kissi anjaan insaan k hath men de dene ka faisla... khud ko girvi rakhwa dene ka faisla...

sham pehle hi dhal chuki thi.. sab log mehendi k liye tayar ho rahe they.. Mia ko jana parra... rone se us ki ankhien surkh ho rahi theen.. lihaza ussey make up ki pareshani hone laggi..
"uff mehr... dekho meri ankhien.. thand pani se theek ho jaen g na??" sheeshe men khud ko ghor ghor k dekhte huwe wo pareshani se keh rahi thi.. aur bahir har taraf mia k naam ki pukar par rahi thi..
"jao mia... thek ho jaien g.. sab pagal ho rahe hain... har cheex ka tumien pata hai k kahan hai..." mehr ne us ko kamre se bahir dhakailte huwe kaha.
'ja rahi hun... mat dhake do badtameez... khud tayar ho jao ghante tak.. tmari chexien almari mien hain. aur chabi vase k neeche hai"
"OK! dafa ho plz" mehr ne tang aa k kaha..
Mia k jane se ik dam khamooshi ho gai... aur phir achanak.. ik dam se mehr ko ehsas huwa .. k kia ho ra hai.. us ki shadi.. moiz se nahi... kissi aur se... yeh koi khuwab nhi ha.. haqeeqat hai.. sach hai... aur is ko reverse kerne ka b koi tareeqa nahi hai... yeh final hai..
yak dam us ka dil... doob gaya,... "Allah..." darwaza band ker k wo rone lagi..
Bahir se ab oonche oonche ganoon ki awaz aa rahi thi...
" ovrai chali sharmati ghabrati wo
  piya k ghar ithlati bal khati wo
  surmai naina chalkati chalkati wo
  piya k ghar bharmati sakuchati wo"

hansi ki awazien, baatun ki ..shor.. hangama.. phir us k andar itni ghuttan kiun thi..

"Mehr...." darwaze pe dastak hoi.. " tayar ho rahi ho???" Mia ne chilla k poocha...
"Hann mia... bus thori dair men ati hun.." ba mushkil apna gala saaf ker k us ne kaha..


P.S: felt like writing a story and it got long. will post nxt part soon.

Legend lives

1992 ... First year of school.. I refused to sit in reception. Principal allowed me to sit in prep.
1999... 6th grade. Met Hanaa. Became best friends with her.
2000-04... came closer to her. Felt like family.
Her mom = my mom
Her dad = My dad
Her grandfather = school/college principal = Our dada!!
2005... 1st year in Collage. Principal became our English teacher.
2007... graduation.
2011.. Joined AIA as a Teacher.
2013.. Principal passed away... Dada passed away...


It took me just 6,7 lines to make this timeline but there are moments , living memories.. for 12 years in school I got to see him everyday, hear him order around, managing school and everything... and for 2 years in college i was in his class.Hearing him lecture, narrating his past experiences to us.. letting us know how he migrated from India, writing in Hindi script and his favorite Shakespeare and his journey to England. His passion for photography and poetry,  his photo albums.His Pilgrimages and how he got the chance to see the inside of Kaaba.
About his family .. and i remember sitting on the last bench with Hanaa who continuously used to give exasperated sighs.
and the famous novel.... Great Expectations... Pip... =)) I never read the novel again, but i still remember it .. the details.. Sir made sure that we have it running through our body by the time we finish it. and he did succeed.
When we had our exams , he would drop me off to home. I think i have to feel special about it because i am the only living soul who has had this privilege.
There were days when me n Hanaa would just peep into his white mehran to see if there was any loose money. Somehow we were always short of money or may be we wee huge on appetite.. and once or twice we actually mustered up the courage to go to his office and ask for 10 rs. Later we would just giggle on the lil adventure.
I remember ourselves to be crazy Harry Potter fans, giving each teacher a character out of the book and Of course he was Dumbledore!
and right now, i wish we were in a magical world, where people in the pictures could move. I would have loved to visit his office with his big portrait hanging on the wall. i would have told him what place he carries! if only i could tell him now.
In college, we all were very vibrant and bubbly. Always coming up with new ideas to make our time special. Trying to be innovative, creative, funky and cool. Once, i wrote my name on the English poetry copy as
'Xyneb >!halyd'. H e circled my name and wrote : 'Chinese?' ... it still puts a smile on my face.
After College.. I went to uni and Hanaa moved out of town but he was never out of our conversations...
I had to know how he was, what;s his latest interest..
and then i came to know that he has bought a laptop... I didnt have one at that time, so naturally i was hell jealoused.
He was always so up to date. I guess he hated to be considered out of league.
After me and Hanaa graduated, we decided to join our school as 'teachers'. It was one of the most joyous experiences of my life. an absolute pleasure.
I found him to be a very supportive boss. and not to mention that he was very proud of both of us for being his students and serving the school. That meant a lot to me.

Over the years, I had started to think of him as my own grandfather. i had come to love him in a very special way. He had always been very respectful for me, for everyone.. but for me, he was more than what he was for others..

and just this morning, i learned that he has passed away...
something just exploded inside me.. a mountain of grief or something..
worst of all , i am sitting here, writing about him when i should be beside my best friend.
At this moment, i am regretting all the decisions in my life, that have made me stay and not go.
right now, i am just wishing to be there. Wishing  not to do what i have to...

Me writing about him is the same as  'chota mun aur bari baat' and 'suraj ko charagh dikhana'.
and it also sorts of disappoints me that he wont be reading this... and makes it a little more unbelievable.

I saw him as an administrator, as a leader, as a teacher, as a boss, as an inspiration, as history, as a role model, as grandfather, as .. to say the least...a legendary educationist.

There are so many little things that are coming to me ... so many moments, so many memories.. too bad i am not enough of a writer to convert them into meaningful sentences.

but i know, all the people in Abbottabad have prayed for him. All his students who are spread across the world, have heard and prayed for him.

I pray to ALLAH that he provides my teacher with Noor in his grave... and place him in Jannah..
and let him drink from Huaz-3-kausar and let the good people be his companions in hereafter.. ameen.

Dear Sir, you are loved!!

P.s whoever gets to read this, please pray for him.

ik aur saal...

IK saal ... aur phir se woi waqt hai..
woi mausam
toofani barish
weerani...
wohi ansoo.. musalsal..
woi khamooshi jo pichle bars mere andar utri thi..
woi judai, jo ab ta hayat rehni hai...

ik saal aur kuch badla hi nahi...
ajj b hum waheen khare hain..
app k baghair .. tanha aur gumsum...
yun milte hain jaise jante hi nahi ik dosre ko..
yun jaise mooti toot k bikhrey hun...

tootey tootey hain sab...
koi zikr nahi kerta ap ka..
sab chupatey hain..
likin sab jantey hain us azeeat ko...

phir larte hain, ik dosre se.. apne app se..
app ki kami hai..
iss qadar khalla ha k dam ghut.ta hai..
ik dosre pe ilzam dharte hain...

ap ko dhoondte hain..
ankh nhi milatey hum.. aur baatien bhool gaye hain ab...

Mama ap ko yaad kerti hain...
aaaista aaista ap ko pukarti hain...

pata nhi kitna waqt lagey ga humien
ap k bagahir jeene k liye...

kitna waqt lagey ga.. simatne k liye..

shyd kabhi b nahi...
Mohabbat waqai nhi marti, chahe wajood khak b ho jaye tab b..

Ap se kaisa taluq hai... koi nahi janta.. koi nahi samajhta..
dil se , mohabbat se aur zindagi se paar bhi kuch taluq hote hian...
Ap aur mien wahaan hain.... :)

The glass jar full of fireflies & a black rose...

He tapped my shoulder gently and whispered in my ear, “you are the most beautiful woman Dara ever saw”, he blushed with an awkward smile.

‘Who is Dara’? , I asked

‘The last time I checked, that was my name’, he said and then it was my turn to blush.

That is what I used to dream. Dara …my obsession, just how many meanings it had, bright star, leader, dragon killer, the beautiful one, virgin, oak tree, the pearl of wisdom, generous, kind…the list was endless. Yet I didn’t become obsessed with it for these meanings, for me it meant one word; love! But knowing that it was understood in so many languages, it took deeper roots in my heart. You see, I could choose to be with you in so many times, across so many cultures, I smile to myself as this thought crosses my mind. Did I need to? It’s an achievement to live this one wonderful life fully, and with you...it counts for more than one.

Your name is not Dara. Thank God it isn’t. Dara is not just a name. It’s what you are to me. It is my abbreviation for two very subtle Arabic words of enormous beauty and enormous meaning…mehram & makhfi. However I like to think of them as Urdu words, it makes them less intimidating and more lovable, perhaps due to my instinctive affection for the language and my misfortune for not being able to pour out my heart in its subtle syllables for fear of not doing justice.

Let me come back to Dara...it’s how I name my relation with you, how shallow is ‘you are my boyfriend’ or ‘you are my fiancé’ or even ‘you are my beloved’? No. You are my Dara. Trust me love,  there is no greater honor.

There you were, half lying on the grass, one sunny march day, your slanting eyes reflecting little lights, and throwing a smile every now and then at the least amusing comments, and I thought ‘just how many smiles... how many true heartfelt smiles does this boy have to spare?’ later I learnt that you had so many of them in you, you would die an early death with the shear pressure if you didn’t keep giving them, along with those lights in your eyes, however you were choosy about which way to direct the twinkle, weren’t you now dear?

You didn’t talk much. More importantly you didn’t think what you had to say was more important than what others had to say. You were so determined not to believe you were special. I remember you mentioned a particular song and praised it. Suddenly I knew I could not just like it ever again, I had to love it.

You didn’t live up to my expectations of Dara. I later discovered you were up to something much more mischievous. You were altering what to be expected of Dara, you were setting the standard.

And thus we met, my first lesson was not to just smile, but to give it and I gave the most radiant smile as you left, since you had made the very air infectious with an unamed joy.

‘Good bye’, said Dara

‘Bye’, I waved , one of us knowing that this one sunny afternoon in the grounds was going to change our lives, and the other only girlishly wondering whether there was a slight chance that the smiling guy with a twinkle in the eye, had found her cute.

May be...but I shrugged off the thought. Better safe than sorry, I told myself.

P.S: This is NOT written by me, although i wish it was. Maliha Shah has done a splendid job, i couldn't help posting it. people deserve to read this beautiful piece of writing!

Quetta....Pakistan...

Mien Quetta k liye kuch likhna cha rahi thi bohat dino se..
mere andar bohat si baatien hain.. bohat se alfaz hain.. jazbaat hain...
mere ansoo hain jo mere qalam k zarye behna chate hain...

Likh sakti hun... likha bhi hai magar yun lagta hai jaise adhora hai, kuch kami hai.. jaise alfaz bohat hain magar ma'ani nahi hain..
jaise tehreer hai, rawani nahi hai... dard bohat hai, per rabt nahi hai...

sochun to yeh kami bohat barri hai... yh khalla bohat wasih hai.. .khamooshi ka darya jo maazi men behta tha, us ka paat bohat choora hai... bhalla chand alfaz azala kaise karien gey..

meri tehreer men kami bohat hai.. un 104 afrad ki jo Quetta men 5 din pehle shaheed huwe.. aur un k sath bohat se un gumnaam Pakistaniyun ki jo najane kab kab, kahan kahan nahaq maarey gaye... woh sab jin k liye men kabhi kuch bol na sakki, kabhi kuch likh na sakki..is qadar shidat se kuch mehsus na ker sakki...

waqt waqt ki baat hai shayad... be-hisssi bhi ho to kab tak aakhir?
mere log yun maarte yaheen, kabhi jo gulistan tha aaj maqtalgah hai.. aur dekho to mre chaar su kiss qadar sakoon hai...men kiss qadar anjaan hun, kiss qadar magaan hun...

Abbottabad aur Quetta ka hazaroon mile lamba fasla, aj simat k jaise 2 qadam ka ho gaya hai... ajj dil pe chot laggi hai to jaise Quetta ki sada mere kaanun se takrai hai.. aaj jab dil se mohr hati hai to yeh kaise takleef hai jo lamha ba lamha barhti ja rahi hai... aur yeh ansoo kaise.. jo bin bulaye meri ankhoon se tapak rahe hain... aj Quetta durr kiun nahi lag raha... aj khayal aa raha hai to bus Pakistan ka... baqa ka, mustaqbil ka, apne hone ka... apne hone ki waja ka.. ajj koi ikhlifaq nahi yaad aa raha.. aj rang-o-nasal, mazhab aur firqey ki deewar zameen-boos hai...

aj har fikr jaise mar gai hai, zinda hai to bus Alamdar road pe rakhey gaye shaheedun ki yaad...
aur un yaadun ko seene se lagaye matam kunah woh hazaroon log.. un logoon ki ankhoon se behte namkeen ansu, un ansuun men ghulli bebase, aur us bebasi men bujhi aah!
Aj Pakistan men kuch zinda hai to bus maut, azeeat,nainsafi, be-reham hukmaran, shadeed mausam aur be-hiss qoam... baqi har ehsas aj marr gaya...

Aj ki wehshat pe beshak hamare laboon pe qufl hain per kal kaise mun chupaien gey jab Hazara kii roshan ankhoon wali beti apni baap ki maut pe sawal kare g... kaise samna karien gey us bache ga jis ka bachpan,ghar,mustaqbil sab kuch ik dhamake ki nazr ho gaya..
kiya jawab ho ga humare pass... waja kia bataen gey?
'Mazhab' .....???
kitna heeran hoon gi us ki kali ankhien yeh sun ker ...
aur phir yaqeenan woh jawab mangey g... apne baap k, bhai k, apne khandaan k khoon ka...
woh pooche g k batao kia ALLAH roz-e-mehshar, apne bandoon ki saza aur jaza se pehle tum se mushawrat kare ga?
kia aimal namey pe tumare dastakhat darkar hoon gey?
bolo kia ALLAH ne wahi ki tumien k maar dalo un ko jo khud ko Shia kehte hain... kia Quran k baad koi aur saheefa aya sirf yeh batane k Shia ghalat aur Sunni theek hain??
kia ikhtilaf e rai zindagi cheen lene ka haq deta hai?
kia Pakistan k aa'en men yeh likha Quaid ne maar dalo us ko , jiss ki baat nagawar guzre..
bhallah Quaid ne yeh mulk kiss ik firqe, nasal, qabeele ya khandaan key naam wasihat men likh dia tha??
Kia Pakistan key hawa, pani, asman-o-zameen pe pehra bitha diya gaya hai?
kia ab azadi girvi rakhwa di gai hai?
kia ab mehengai k badle Pakistaniyun ki jaan sasti ki gai hai?

Aimal Kansi se shuru hone wale iss safar ka koi annt bhi hai?
kia roz roz marne ka yh silsila kabhi rukke ga ya chup chaap Pakistan ko hum yun haar dien gey?

kia Balochistan k baad hum Sindh aur KPK men aaise halaat paida ho jane ka intezar karien gey?
kia jazbey se 'PAK SAR ZAMEEN SHAD ABAD' perhne wali qoam aasani se ghulami qabool ker le g?

'Jab tak hai yeh dunia baqi, hum dekhien azad
hum dekhien azad tujhe....'
kia yeh azm ab khuwab banney wala hai?

Baat ab sirf sarhadun ki hifazat nahi rahi... yeh Fauj ka imtehan nahi hai..
ab koi fauj, koi siyasi party kuch nahi ker sakti... ab baat har fard ki hai..

Ab har fard meri millat k muqadar ka sitara hai....!

Some one's got to believe!

I have always been a believer… love has been magical to me, always… something that makes the moon seem a little closer than usual, the wind a little more refreshing, water more clearer, flowers more colorful, season more joyous, and music more meaningful…

In my small town, everything was so true.. so pure that it never crossed my mind that there is a reality other than this.. bitter and ugly one!

 And I feel bad about discovering this side… I feel bad about growing out of fairy tales, I feel bad about getting to know people who are not the best of human beings… and I feel bad about stepping out of the set frame …

*Alice in wonderland* .....I somehow understand what Alice must have felt… bewilderment!

That’s what I felt at first… my initial reaction to all the lies, deception, cheating and double crossing…

I experienced people ditching, back stabbing, deceiving, cheating, conning and making a foul out of you.. and it hurts!

And the worst of all, people doing it in the name of love and friendship.. 2 of the most sacred relations that can exist between strangers..

It makes me wonder ..what happened to our ethics?...

They say that even dacoits had some rules in old times.. so, every damn game should be played by some rules.. be it love, fraud, flirt or whatever…

It doesn't make us superman just makes us human.. plain humans…

I avoid explicit content in my writing.. I don’t do that sort but its just that .. the reality is rubbing itself into my face!

Everything we do now a days is either for s** or money..

That’s the current trend of the society .. and we are all feeding this trend by being mean, selfish, and coward!

What an environment we are creating for ourselves and our next generations…

No morals, no ethics.. a free society.. where standards matter…

a moron in Prada…

a geek in a Mark n Spencer suit..

that’s the future,..

but hey… you reading this… you don’t want it right??

Change it!

Because if that’s not what we want , someone’s got to believe in true love, true self, truth as a whole…

Its have faith that not for money, its for love! 

Its for the fact that we want to be an example of goodness…

It’s for a better today and an excellent tomorrow!

And for that some one’s got to believe!

Being a girl...

Being a girl .. at first, it meant nothing to me.. nothing at all... but then for the most part if i re-call correctly, i hated it..
every moment of it.. because since the very beginning i had understood that being a girl and being normal are two different things. i know many people will disagree to me here but i am talking about myself only.. for me, it was not normal!
being a girl meant following loads n loads of customs, values and strict rules. it meant no freedom, it meant restrictions and i hated it even more when i saw my brothers not having to worry about how to walk, what to say, pitch of the sound, dress, going out, playing n blah blah...
but with each passing day, i came out of that gloominess .. i started to see the positive side of it.. the respect, the privilege, the special care.. the lady thing...
and i love being a girl now... i enjoy being a lady..
i like it a lot when gentlemen show courtesy to me.. hold open the doors in university, in banks, in shopping malls..
i like they way they call me 'ma'am please'
i like the way they let me buy things first in a shop.
i like the way they give me space.
i like the way, people show respect in public places..
i still like it but my likeness has overcome by fear...
i watch out my back now... i look round the corners.. i see for unfamiliarity and cruelty on every face that passes me..
i double check the  cab i take and the bus i ride...
i fear for my life.. i dont want to b a victim of brutality of a bunch of lunatics who are fearless... who run free, who do what they want.. who rape and kill and get to b alive...
who live without pain while i die of bruises and broken bones
who wait for the justice while i fight for my life in a hospital bed
who are still on the run when i die the most painful ever imaginable...

i dont want to be that indian girl..
and u know why i watch my back in my country? because its not about India, its about being a girl!
i fear the world because i know being a girl is not normal!

mohabbat...

“Khushfehmi kitni achi cheex hai na ami” apne bed pe laity laity najane kitna waqt beet gaya tha. Maazi k dareeche thy k band hone men nhi aa rahe they.. ik  k bad ik dar…

‘mat socho itna’ ami ne bebasi se us ko dkha…

oolad b kitni ajeeb cheez hai, kitni b na farman ho per jab nadamat se sar jhukati hai to dil se har dua le jati hai .. na khafgi rehti ha na ghuusa , na ana..
‘na soch zainy.. tum to meri shehzadi baiti ho.. meri rani ho’ maa ne us ka matha chooma, us k hath ko pyar kia…

‘na sochoon ami? Kaise na sochun .. ami raani aaisi hoti  hai? Woh to raj kerti hai.. men to  khak hun..’

Dono hathun men sar pakar k who rone laggi.. har roz ki tarhan.. yun jaise log kissi k marne pe rotey hain, waise zainy ron laggi.. apne app pe..

‘ jo dil men hai bol de zainy, jo b hai bol de…’ bechain ho k ami ne kaha..

‘ami’ achanak woh bister se utar k un k qadmoon men aa baithi.

‘ jo dil men hai wo keh doon g to sab sawal Karien gey.. jawab nhi hai ami mere pass.. bohat se sawal hi  hain..’

‘nahi karoon g koi sawal.. kuch nhi poochun g ..’

‘ abhi to raat ka andhera sab chupa leta hai ami.. ik bar keh dia to koi b chey dhanp nhi sakkey g mujhe… insane k raaz us k libas ki tarhan hotey hain ami.. raazun ko chuppey rhna chae’

‘men maa hun na tumari… mujhse chupa k kia karo g? yeh raat jo tumara dukh chupati hai, who mera dard bharhati hai.. zainy tu nhi soye g to maa kaise soey g?’

‘ami’ sar un ki godd men rakh k us ne pukara..to jawab men ik mehrban hath us k sar pe thehr gaya.

‘dunia men aap se agey kuch nhi tha aur kabhi ho ga b nhi… likin men kia karoon ami, who mere dil se nikalta nhi hai.. mene bohat koshish ki.. ami fasla itna hai hamare darmiyan k shyd umer bhar b chaloon to 2 koss hi teh ker paun.. phir b, woh hai k mujhe bhoolta hi  nhi hai..’

‘ami men us se baat nhi kerti.. aur who nhi janta k zainy b koi larki hai.. ami mujhe lagta hai jaise ALLAh ne mujh saza di hai..’

‘aaise kaise ho sakta hai ami.. kaise koi insaan itna acha lagta hai k us ki ik nazar dunia sanwarne ko kafi ho jati hai.. kaise ik shahks ki aahat k liye har lamha koi muntazir reh sakta hai… kiun ami?.. kia khass baat hai us men?’

‘ami mohabbat aaisi hoti hai ? jo insaan ko aarsh se farsh pe le aaye?.. shah ko faker kr de?  Yeh to saza hai, bad dua hai.. buri nazar hai.. saaya hai…’

‘ami kiun ho ra hai aaisa.. men itni dua kerti hun k who mere dil se nikal jaye.. men ik roz uthun to us ka koi nishan na ho us ka meri zindagi men.. jaise who hai hi nhi.. kabhi tha hi nahi…’

‘zaini…..’ bohat sara roo chukne k baad who chup hoi to ami ne kaha..

‘zaini yeh jo mohabbat hai na.. yeh bohat ajeeb cheex hai.. insaan is ko mazak samajhta hai.. koi aam sa jazba samajhta hai.. likin aaisa nhi hai… yeh mohabbat ALLAH ne bht soch k insaan ko ata ki hai.. aur is men insane ki baqa ko chupaya hai..

Farishte mohabbat nhi kerte zaini.. insaan ko khas banaya mohabbat ki waja se…

Allah ne insaan ko mitti se banaya hai .. us ka khamer us cheez se banaya hai jis ko hum haqeer khte hain… paoon men rondhte hain..

khameer ki taraf wapsi ka safar mien mohabbat pehla qadam hai.. insaan ki ego ko mar deti hai yeh
.. janti ho ego kia chez hai? Insaan ko paoon pe khara rakhti hai, sar uthati hai insaan ka, akaar k chalati hai, hukam dena sikhati hai.. aur jab ego mar jati hai na to insaan khak ho jata hai …

aur khak ko ALLAH k siwa kuch yaad nhi ata zaini..

yeh mohabbat jo tumien rulati hai , jagati hai.. is ko ALLAH  ka inaam samjho.. yeh wapsi ka safar hai zaini..

mujhe bura lagna chae na k meri itni pyari beti kissi bande k ishq men apna haal bighar rahi hai? Mujhe lag raha hai bura zaini… likin men janti hun tumien..

mene tumara naam zainab rakha hai… aur tum kaisi ho, yeh tumari paishani pe likha hai…mujhe ya kissi ko bhi certificate nhi chae..

Zaini, ik din jab tum utho g to waqai tumara dil khali ho ga..

Tum safar men us maqam pe ho g jahan us k baad tumien mohabbat k liye behtar hasti mil jaye g.. tum mohabbat k baad ishq k safar k qabil ho jao g.

Zaini, ALLAH tumien ishq k adaab sikha raha hai… aaise to nhi mil jatii koi cheex..

Abhi wohh iss dil ko mohabbat dy ga, dard dy ga.. iss dil se dunia nikale ga.. phir ishq ki bari aye g beta..

Abi tum safar men ho…

Who shaks kuch nhi hai… bus ik imtehan hai…’

10 saal … ami ap ne theek kaha tha… who shaks kuch nhi tha.. mere safar ka pehla paraoo tha..

Aaj b jab men dua k liye hath uthati hun to us ka naam zaror lti hun. K Mera us se ajeb  taluq tha..

ALLAH ne mujhe bht kuch dia hai .. aur sab se bara karam yeh k us ko mere dil se nikala nhi.. us ko dil men rehne dia aur sakoon de dia..

Ishq beshak sirf ALLAH ka haq hai.. aur mohabbat pe bandoon ka haq hai..

Bande ki bande se mohabat kuch nhi beshak… yeh neeyat hai jo pehla qadam utha lene se maar jane tak har kam snwarti hai…

Farsh se arsh tak le jati hai.. koi ehsas kuch nhi neeyat k baghair..

Khas torr se mohabbat… jis men paa lena ahem nhi hai.. kho jana nuqsaan nhi hai.. jis men koi b chez aam nhi hai.. jis men har kam ghaibi hai.. aur ghaib bus neeyat dekhta hai…

One helluva day!

*airtel ring*

I am fast asleep…

Bell continues to ring ..

“ uff, where the hell is my mobile”

I dive inside my quilt and emerge with a ringing cell phone.

^irfan calling^

“God, what’s wrong with him?” I mutter to myself before receiving the call.

Ifran: “hello zainab, so rahi thi? There is a conference in Serena. Let’s all go there.”

Le me: “uh what? Umm… ok… let me wash my face n teeth”

One part of me wanted to say NO and go back to being a sleeping beauty and the other, *normal* part dragged me out of the warm bed to get ready.

OK! What to wear. I pull out my jeans and with that a dull greenish colored shirt which had RED in it. Red handbag, red coat and red shoes ;)

Looking at myself half an hour later, I give a very satisfied smile to my image and walk outside to find my class fellows waiting for me to go together.

I had never seen Serena before and to be honest never given it a thought. The funny part is that when I entered that beautiful edifice, I hardly felt that it’s the first time I am here or that its one of the most expensive places in Pakistan. I carried my “so what” attitude very gracefully and enjoyed the brief stay there:P

To be comfortable with your own self is the best thing in the world.

From there, Ahmed asked : “now where?”

Le me: “Actually, I have never seen Pakistan monument. :s :s”

Everybody stared at me… and they burst into laughter .

Le me: “ I am serious guys”

So we went to see the beautiful Monument. Without a doubt it is an awesome piece of art. The concept is very innovative and location is perfect. However, it was sad to see that it is failing to serve the purpose for people of the land, which is to develop a sense of pride and nationality.

I have always dreamt of sitting on a high place from where I can just look at the world wide in front of me with loads of wind blowing and no thoughts at all.. I guess I lived that moment yesterday!

Anyway, Kashif wanted to bowl.

And to be honest, I loved the game. Rolling the ball to get the bottles ( or whatever they are called) down. :D

Being the only girl in the group, I served the purpose of  my presence. ~to loose so that the male egos stay boosted :p ~

Anyway 83 score when I was rolling the ball first time ever in my life, I deserve some credit guys.

Grabbing the Icecream , we headed to the most peaceful place I have ever been to.

Evening was falling.. and there I was sitting on a wood bench in the middle of a lush green garden. That was captivating. Mesmerizing, the beauty of nature and that moment..

And then I saw the most amazingly cute dog! He was a BIG BIG Labrador and I envied the owner. He was nothing but a big sweetheart. I wanted to go near him but sesly, his size scared me :/ .. a little..

I wanted the time to just stop there.. or at least pause.. I wanted to live that beauty, the peace, the serenity.. the feeling of being watched, guided…

But too bad we had our economics class at 6 o’clock so we headed back to uni.

By the time, we started studying I was literally dying to get hold of some sleep.  Thanks heavens, it was our last class and there wasn’t much to study so I managed to take a nap and then a cup of tea totally refreshed me.

I was busy playing hang the man with my class and teacher when samreen came in. a little breathless from brisk walking :P

Samreen: “I need you for sometime. Please excuse yourself”

All the love to mam seemi that she let me go, happily.

Le me : “yes samreen”

samreen: “ let’s go get a cup of coffee, talal is here too”

le me: “ok! Waise b, seems like m on the run today. Let’s go”

and a cup of coffee with good company was worth it J

and thus, the day ended..

I don’t know why people say that boys don’t make good friends or girls are not fully sincere with each other.. If someone has these deteriorating concepts, please come and meet me.

Its not about your gender, its all about your heart.

I have seen girls and boys who were devils in disguise alike and I have been lucky to meet the most amazing people in the world.

And I believe a portion of this depends upon you too. If you have a clean heart, you will find good people. And most of all, you can be that good person in some one’s life. After all, you can’t control others, but you have a full authority over yourself and your actions J

Just be good to people , they deserve it.

And most of all, you deserve to be the person you are meant to be… don’t trade yourself for something less than this !

17 Nov, 2018

MEN HUN GUMSUM TU B KHAMOSSH HAI

SACH HAI SAMEY KA HI SAB DOSH HAI

DHARKAN DHARKAN IK GHAM REHTA HAI

JANE KIUN PHIR B DIL KEHTA HAI

JEE LEY ZARA…

AYE HUMSAFAR, AYE HUMAVA…

Sari zindagi meri Karachi aaney ki khuwahish rahi thi.. kiun k mene sari zindagi paharoon men guzari thi aur kabhi samandar nhi dekha tha.. na pani ka na insaano ka.. aur khi men dono miltey hain.

Likin mujhe khi se dar lagta tha .. itna bara shehr, itni oonchi imaratien, itne log, rush, shor, hangama.. men kho gai to?

Per ab aaisa nhi hai.. 2 din pehle jab khi airport se bahir aai to mere dil men koi ehsas nhi tha, koi darr nhi tha.. kho jane ka b nhi..

Official kam se ai hun men Karachi.. kuch ghalat to ho hi nhi sakta.. akhir Pakistan Govt k itne prestigious idare men kam kerti hun. What can possibly go wrong?

Waqt jaldi guzar jata hai.. itne saal guzar gaye hain.. ab kho jane ka khauf kaisa? Aur ab to hansii ati  hai apne app per.. aur us per bhi jo kehta tha ‘kho kaise jao g, mera address hai na?”

Address ka kia hai.. who to change hota rehta hai .. pata nhi wo pagal tha ya mujhe bana raha tha..

Kher this conference I am attending is very important. I hope IP pipeline functional ho jaye… kitna faida ho ga mulk ko.. when I was a child I had such simple concepts, wohh to barey ho k pata chala k dunia men kuch b simple nhi hai..

Na system, na relations, na insaan khud.. sab complex hai.. har cheez uljhi hoi hai.. dil b, damagh bhi, mohabbat bhi… jo dil kehta ha, damagh ko woi baat stupid lagti hai.. pata nhi sab k sath yeh masla hai ya mere dil aur damagh men koi special rivalry hai..

Dil kehta tha k us ki baat man lo, per damagh? Logic mangta tha.. reasoning kerta tha… dil kahan se lata logic? Who to bus beqarar tha us k peeche peeche bhagne ko.. per huwa kia? Logic jeet hi gai na akhir.. kitna rooya tha dil bechara.. tarapta raha phr khudi ro dho k chup ho gaya.. bilkul chup…

Hunh.. bohat senti ho rahi hun na.. shehr ka qasoor hai.. warna kitne saal guzar gaye hain is bat ko.. diary to hameesha likhti hun per kabhi zikar kia us ka? Phir ab kiun?

Mujhe to lagta tha k bhool gai hun sab kuch men.. aur sach bhi yehi hai. Kahan khayal ata hai 24 hrs men? Itni masroof hoti hun, kabhi to khane peene ka hosh b nhi rhta..

Haan bus tab yaad ata ha jab mama kehti hain ‘ab tum shadi ker lo na’  .. men us k intezar men nhi hun, likin 27 years ki age men mujhe koi bohat sensible banda chae. Men kissi Bandar ko apne sar pen hi bitha sakti, mama ko samajh hi nhi ati.

 GHAM K YEH BADAL GUZAR JANE DEY

AB ZINDAGI KO NIKHAR JANE DEY

CHOR DE AB YADOON K DUKH SEHNA

SUN B LE JO DIL KA HAI KEHNA

JEE LE ZARA…

Waise mien b ajeeb hun.. khud se b secrets rakhti hun.. jaise ap apni 2 ziddi dostoon k darmiyan piss k reh jate hain na.. wohi haal mera hai apne dil aur damagh k beech.. kabi dil se sargoshi kerti hun aur kabhi damagh se taweel behs..

Dil hai k roota hai.. maafi mangta hai .. paoon pakarta hai .. kehti hun k ‘jao maf kia’ per suntan nhi hai.. kehta hai beqadre insaan ko har dia tumien… hansi aati hai mujhe.. muskurahat daba k kehti hun ‘ men kon c bohat qeemti thi..’

Girgirata hai..”anmol thi.. be mol ker dia..maf ker do’

Itna waqt laga k dil ko tasalli deti hun to damagh machal jata hai k ‘ aaise kaise maaf ker dia? Kuch to saza milni chae thi na?’

Damagh k bhi fauji asool hain.. maafi ki gunjaish nhi hai.. ghalti ki hai to saza do..

Keh keh k thak gai hun k dil aur ishq ko sharminda nhi dekh sakti.. who to fateh hain..

Likin damagh hai k na khud samajhta hai na mujhe sakoon se rehne deta hai..

Tang aa k men dono ko un k haal pe chor deti hun.. aur khud neend ki aghosh men panah leti hun..

Per kabhi kabhi to khuwab bhi beimani ker jate hain.. us nagar le chalet hain jahan ka rukh b haram hai ab..

Kitna bebas hai insaan bhi.. kissi cheez pe ikhtiyar nhi hai..

Kabhi is jung se ukta jaun to ik gehri sans leti hun aur sochti hun k kon ho tum jis ki waja se yeh kashmakash ha to na tumara chehra khayal men ata hai.. na tumari awaz kanoon men gunjti hai, na koi baat yaad ati hai..

Khayal ata hai to concordia ki baraf pe perhne wali chamkeeli dhoop ka, barf se banne chasmey ka, mahudund jheel k shafaaf pani ka, banjoosa ki fizza men ghulley sakoon ka… mujhe tum yaad nhi atey, mujhe morr k par k rang yaad atey hain.. mujhe koyal ki kook yaad ati hai, mujhe gulab k phool pe shabnam ka qatra yad ata hai, mujhe khoon jama dene wali sardi men coffee ka garam mug yad ata hai..

Tum mere liye koi shaks to nhi they k men tumien yad rakhti ya bhool jati.. tum to mere liye ehsaas they.. kaifiyat they.. tum ko jaise khoon k sath gardish men they.. yad rakhne aur bhool jane ka to zikr hi nhi tha.. option hi nhi thi…

Option hoti to bhalla yeh chunti men? Aaisi bewakoof lagti hun men kia?

When I look into the mirror, I see a confident successful career lady who has authority to make decisions and then I feel bad for you..  agar tum iss sab k liye kuch nhi ker sakkey to pata nhi kia dia ho ga tumien Khuda ne.

Bohat saal huwe, tumien dekhe.. pata nhi kaise ho gey tum.. acha hai men dekhna b nhi chati..

Mere andar abhi b tum bht oonche maqam pe ho.. abhi b mere lihaz se tum behtareen k haqdar ho..

 Asal dekh liya to acha nhi lagey ga…

2 bajh gaye hain. Subha 9 meeting hai. Khilaf e mamool bohat lambi diary likhi.. aur who b ik dead topic per.. waise b yeh lambi debate aur dukh mere nhi hain, yeh to us 21 saal ki larki k hain jo mere andar udas udas phirti hai.. men iss sab k liye bohat busy hun.

Best of luck for meeting tomorrow to myself.

Goodnight!